Faded Memories
by A Cullen Wannabe
Summary: AU Jasper is the only one who survived Victoria's newborn army. Grief stricken he goes to Volterra to end his life. On the way he meets a mysterious female vampire who seems to know him. Who is she? Can she convince him not to end his life? Now Complete!
1. Choices

**Faded Memories**

_**AU. Taking place after the events in Eclipse, Bella never formed the bond with Jacob that led to the wolves teaming up with the Cullens to learn how to fight Victoria's newborn army and they were all defeated. Jasper was the only survivor due to his exceptional knowledge and skill with newborns. He's left alone and heartbroken as everyone he's ever loved is gone.**_

_**Hello everyone. In trying to write my story Chasing Away the Shadows, I got stuck halfway through Chapter 21 with a major case of writer's block. As I lay in bed last night, I was trying to think of where to go with it and how I can transition the chapter when another Jasper focused fanfic I ran across this week interrupted my thoughts and suddenly this little ditty came to mind and I decided that I might as well put it down and see how it turns out. I'm determined not to get distracted from finishing Chasing Away the Shadows, so I was thinking that if this ends up being worth writing, I might force myself to only work on it when I need a break from Chasing the Shadows…or I may just leave it as a one shot. Anyway, I found the idea intriguing and decided to see where it went. Hope you enjoy it…let me know what you think.**_

* * *

**Choices**

I stood in an emotional black hole as I watched the family mansion go up in a towering inferno. I had to destroy all of the evidence that we had been there for fear of the secret of what we really were would be discovered. They were all gone. Every single person I ever loved in this life…my parents, my brothers and sisters, and oh god, my dearest love…my Alice. I fell to my knees as dry hysterical sobs racked my body and I felt as though I would fall apart at the seams out of the shear force of my unadulterated grief.

I don't know how long I sat there rocking back and forth in the abyss of my despair. Hours? Days? Weeks? I couldn't be certain. By the time I stood up and walked away the remains of my life here were reduced to a pile of black ash in the middle of the large meadow.

I didn't know where to go or what to do. I was lost, completely and utterly lost. My true north was gone forever and now the compass of my existence spun uselessly without direction. There were three things I knew for certain. I would never get them back, I could never replace them, and I didn't want to walk this Earth alone again. That left me with only one other option. I would take a page from Edward's book. I was going to Volterra.

********************

It was the early hours of morning when I crossed through the gates of the massive golden citadel and slowly made my way through the dark streets with one and only one destination in mind. I was going to the tower to beg Aro, Caius, and Marcus to put me out of my misery. I turned one last corner to see the ornately carved doors of the business front for the subversive world of the ancient vampire royalty and picked up my pace passing various storefronts in my journey. I had just passed the outdoor tables for a small Tuscan bistro when a soft feminine voice with a southern drawl met my ears.

"Well, well, Major Whitlock, as I live and breathe…well, breathe at least."

I spun in a flash to see a tall brunette vampire with golden eyes sitting at one of the tiny bistro tables with a book in her hands. I looked closer to see that she held a copy of _Gone with the Wind_ in her long slender fingers. Despite all the pain I've been suffering since the loss of my family, I found myself unwittingly chuckling at her choice of literature. I always hated that novel. I don't really remember much from my human years, but somehow I did know that any true southern belle would far outshine and outclass the abrasive Scarlett O'Hara. I looked back up to her face and it was quite lovely, even for a vampire, but that was all I could notice. The true love of my life was long gone and ever since I met my tiny light that pulled me out of my desperate and lonely nomadic existence, I had never truly noticed another female and probably never would.

I finally realized that she appeared to know me, and not only that referred to me as MAJOR Whitlock. "Pardon me ma'am, but do I know you?"

She smiled a wide mirthful smile. "Why yes Major, but I'm guessing that you probably don' remember. It was a long, long time ago in a whole other lifetime."

I frowned, but I couldn't deny that her voice calmed my despair just the slightest bit. While I had spent so many years in the north with my family, my southern accent had been slowly invaded with a northern edge and over the many, many years I had lost many parts of my southern drawl, but this woman, her voice full of the gentility of the deep south, took me back so many years with her drawn out vowels and softened 'r's and a small smile spread across my lips when I heard her once more call me 'Mayjah'."

"Excuse me, Major? Are you there? Hello?"

I shook my head in an attempt to pull myself back into the present and apologized for my rudeness. She offered once more for me to join her and I felt strangely compelled to sit next to her. Why not solve this one small mystery before going off to end my life?

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Virginia, but please call my Ginny."

"It's an honor Miss Ginny, please call me Jasper" I replied gently kissing the back of her hand with southern gentility that I had long since let slide, yet was strangely compelled to utilize in her presence. As my lips grazed the back of her hand a dim yellowed memory filled my mind. _I was kissing the back of a silken gloved hand as a room full of dancers in uniforms and long ornate gowns twirled in the background._ As suddenly as the memory came, it left and I was once again sitting at the small table in Volterra.

I stared with wide eyes as I tried to bring back the memory that I had never before encountered in all the years I had been a vampire. In my early years I actively pursued my memories, trying desperately to piece together my past, but I could only remember a few faint memories of my mother, being in the army, and my encounter with Maria and her friends that led to my change. None of the memories I had ever managed to unearth were ever so gentile and peaceful. In that single memory I felt so much more peace than any memory of my former life and I smiled at the simplicity of the single pleasant memory.

We sat in quiet a few moments as I processed my thoughts finally locking eyes with Miss Ginny. I opened my mouth to ask her about the memory, but she cut me off first.

"I do apologize. I don' really control when my ability decides to work it's magic on someone."

"What is your ability Miss Ginny?"

"You really don' have to call me Miss, Ginny is fine, and my ability is linked to memories. My husband told me my whole life that I had a memory that rivaled the king of the elephants." She chuckled a little darkly lost in her memory and I felt sadness and longing coming off of her. "When I was changed, I held onto all of my human memories with absolute, vampire worthy clarity, and I can also bring forward memories in others. I can't manipulate their memories or share my own with others though, just help someone find their own and bring them out."

I nodded in understanding. "Your husband…was from your human life?"

She nodded and looked at the table sadly but there was also flicker of hope there too which confused me. "What happened to your husband?"

She locked her eyes on a spot on the table as sadness emanated from her slender form. "He was in the army, much like you, and went off to fight in that godforsaken war. At the time we were all so loyal to the cause, but in the end it was such a waste and the south was left with nothin' to show for the effort but desolation and despair." She laughed and mumbled more to herself than to me, "I guess some things never change."

She looked back up to my eyes. "Anyway, he disappeared in Texas, never to be heard from again. The popular theories were that he was captured and died in transit to a prisoner of war camp, he died on the battlefield and was simply too disfigured to identify, or he deserted and disappeared into the north. I definitely don' believe that last one. My love would never have deserted his men. He was highly honorable and cared far too much for his men to ever simply desert them."

She looked back at the table and to my utter shock a single tear trickled down her cheek as a sob choked her final words a bit, "We were only married for a week before he was shipped back out to the front line. Truth is I begged him to desert and run away with me. Somehow I knew I would never see him again, but he pulled my arms from around his neck and kissed my hands as he looked right into my eyes with his sapphire blue ones and said, 'My dearest Ginny, you know I could never do that. If I did then I wouldn't be a man worthy of your hand. I promise you that even if it takes a thousand years, I will find my way back to you. You are the love of my life.'"

She appeared lost in her memory as she lifted her fingers to her lips, "and then he leaned down and placed the most passionate kiss he had ever bestowed upon my lips, pulled me into a warm tight embrace and then kissed my forehead before turning to walk to his horse and turned back to flash me one more smile from those sweet lips and blow me a kiss before ridin' away from me to never return."

I reached my hands forward reflexively to cover hers reaching the other to wipe the tear that was traveling down her cheek and observed it in awe. "We can't cry Ginny. I…I don't understand."

She shook her head, "I don' know. Just another quirk that's special to me I guess. Maybe it's linked to the memories, maybe the venom somehow didn' invade my tear ducts completely, I really dunno…but I can and do frequently cry."

"Amazin'," I gasped as continued to stare awestruck. Sitting here with her like this, holding her hand suddenly visions of my family and my Alice flooded back into my mind and the pain reclaimed my chest as it tightened in reflex. I sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to fight off the oncoming sobs as visions of my sweet little Alice's face flickered past me in quick succession. My beautiful sweet precious Alice…my light and my life for so few years in the course of my existence and yet the only ones that felt as though my life was worthwhile.

In an instant I felt her hand pull out from under mine in haste and I looked up to see her apologetic eyes. "Oh Jasper, I'm so, so sorry. Oh dear, so much loss, so much love," her tears began to flow again, "so they really are gone and you came here to end your life?"

I nodded solemnly as I struggled to regain control over my grief. Then I heard seven words that about crushed what was left of my cold dead heart, "That's not what she wanted you know."

I looked up at her in confusion. How would she know? As far as I knew, Alice never mentioned a Ginny, not once. She didn't know my Alice so why did she feel the need to talk as if she did? I was suddenly filled with anger as I felt my eyes narrow at the face of this unknown vampire who I was not sure I could truly trust.

"How would you know? You didn't know my Alice!"

She shook her head slowly as she looked me straight in the eyes, total sincerity and understanding rippled toward me in waves. "No, I didn' know your Alice, but she somehow knew me. She sent this to me," she said pulling a small envelope from the back of her book and handing it to me, "I got this a month ago."

I looked at the envelope in my hands and ran my fingers over the small blue script that I recognized immediately as my Alice's handwriting. My hands trembled as I pulled apart the top of the envelope and took the single sheet of paper out opening it slowly with trepidation.

_Dearest Ginny, I know you don't know me, but I feel as though I know you. I've seen you many times in my visions of the future. Right now we are facing an eminent battle and of all of the possible outcomes, there is only one positive amongst a sea of negatives, and I fear that we will not survive, save my husband and my love, my Jasper. If my worst nightmares do come true and we end up leaving him alone in this world, I have seen that he will go to Volterra and beg the Volturi to end his life. You are his only hope. Please, I know you don't know me and you owe me nothing, but I believe that you and only you can keep him from making such a dreadful decision. He is my life and my love and I can't bear the thought of him sacrificing himself in grief. The world needs my sweet caring Jasper. I'm not sure when he will arrive, but expect it to be anywhere from two weeks to two months after you receive this letter. Thank you and please forgive me. -Sincerely, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Whitlock_

I read the letter over many times as I shook my head at my Alice's selflessness. Even though she believed that she and the others would not survive, she wanted to make sure that I lived on. Why? Didn't she realize that my life meant nothing without her? They were my only family, my whole world. Life without them was not life but rather purgatory and torture.

"So you came here to stop me? You came because of a letter from someone you didn't even know asked you to come here and stop someone you don't even know from ending their existence? Why?"

She leaned forward and looked me in the eye as another tear ran down her pale cheek. "You've already forgotten Jasper, you have no memory of your past, but I kept every single one. You may not know me, but I do know you. Your Alice knew that I would remember and I wouldn' be able to just let you come here to die without at least tryin' to let you know you didn' have to be alone."

She touched her hand to mine again in a gesture of comfort and another dark and dingy memory flooded my mind…no not another memory, the rest of the first. _My lips lingered on the back of the silken gloved hand as my eyes slowly rose to the face that belonged to the lovely hand I held pressed reverently to my lips. My gaze followed her long velvety looking arm to the sleeve of her lavender gown across her shoulder and collarbone and up to her beautiful sky blue eyes. Her eyes twinkled at me and the smile on her face was glorious and glowing._

_"Why Major Whitlock, it am so pleased you could join us this evening. Daddy mentioned you were in town. How long will you be stayin'?"_

_"I am unsure Miss Benjamin. I am awaitin' orders before I know where my men and I will be headed next. I have heard rumors it will be Huston, but I am not sure."_

_A small delicate line invaded the space between her beautiful eyebrows as she frowned slightly. "Well please do be careful Major, I hear that things have gotten quite dangerous over there."_

_"Yes Ma'am." I could feel my heartbeat increasing in pace at the thought that this beautiful princess of the south was genuinely concerned for my welfare. We had known one another as children, but with age our differences in social standing had pulled us apart, but in our youth we had been best friends._

_She smiled a tiny bit at my agreement to stay safe before continuing. "I've been tryin' to convince Daddy to invite over some of the officers for a dinner and he's simply ignored my request so far. I see no better time than the present to offer an invitation. Do you think that you and a few of your fellow officers would like to come over for dinner this week? Perhaps Tuesday night?"_

_My breath caught in my chest at the thought of spending a whole meal in the presence of the beautiful Virginia Benjamin and couldn't stop the wide smile that invaded my face. "Oh Miss Benjamin, I can safely say that we would be delighted."_

_The smile on her face was equally as enchanting. A new song started in the background and I reached forward to offer her my hand, "Would it be too forward to ask you for this dance?"_

_Her glowing smile widened as she placed her delicate hand in mine, "It would be an honor Major Whitlock." I could almost swear I saw a pink blush alight her cheeks as I led her graceful figure onto the dance floor and placed my hand respectfully on her waist as we began to twirl with the other dancers on the floor._

I felt the hand on mine pull away again and the memory I was lost in dematerialized from my mind and I was once again sitting at the table in Volterra. I looked back at the face sitting across from me that so closely resembled the one in my dream. "It was you," I whispered.

She nodded keeping her eyes locked on mine for a few moments before she looked around seeming to be startled. "Oh goodness Jasper…we've completely lost track of the time. The sun will be risin' soon."

I looked up and saw that she was right. She and I both stood at the same time. My time was up and the mystery was still only partially answered. I looked from her to the ornate doors that led to my demise and back to her a few times.

"I must go now Jasper. If you change your mind and end up not goin' to them, come find me. I live in the Ozark Mountains in Missouri. There aren't many of us there, so I'm sure you will be able to find me if you try." She reached forward and touched a long slender finger to my cheek affectionately before reaching forward and wrapping her arms around my neck for a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to walk away.

I stood there for a long moment my face shifting from the large doors to her retreating figure and back again. I looked down at the letter still in my hands and could hear the words Ginny had just told me shortly before echoing in my head.

"_That's not what she wanted you know." _I know, but can I go on without her?

"_That's not what she wanted you know."_ I am alone now. My family is gone.

I opened the paper and read the words once more. …_You are his only hope. Please, I know you don't know me and you owe me nothing, but I believe that you and only you can keep him from making such a dreadful decision… The world needs my sweet caring Jasper…Thank you and please forgive me._

Why would this woman from my past long forgotten need to forgive my Alice? It made no sense. There were too many questions. I lifted my head again from the paper and looked once more at the large doors that would forever end my torment and back to the retreating female with the long mahogany hair…To my left peace, to my right answers. I pulled the letter in my hand to my chest. My Alice wanted me to live on, so much so that she pulled a phantom from my past to convince me to stay. There was no time limit on when I could come and ask the Volturi for my demise. I could always return again later. I would honor my Alice's last wish.

I turned and ran at inhuman speed as I yelled Ginny's name. She turned to look at me in surprise and I could see the trails on her face from the tears she had been shedding as she walked away from me. Her surprised face morphed into a wide smile that reached her eyes and suddenly I felt as though I was staring at the young girl in my dream again. She reached her hand out to me and I took it as we disappeared into the shadows of the alleyways just as the sun crested over the tall walls of the city.


	2. Web of Fate

**_Author's Note: Okay, so I didn't get much feedback yet, but enough that I thought I'd test the waters with a second chapter. Please let me know what you think! Thanks to those of you that reviewed after I posted chapter one. I love you guys!!! P.S. I'm not bothering my beta with these chapters just yet…she's a busy girl and I feel bad putting even more on her…so if there are errors I do apologize and if you see something that's really bugging you then please take the time to PM me and I'll go in and fix it and repost!_**

**

* * *

**

2. Web of Fate

We continued slinking through the shadows of the alleys until we finally reached a black sedan with tinted windows on an abandoned stretch of street along one of the outer walls of the city. Ginny directed me to get in as she slid into the driver's seat and expertly maneuvered the vehicle out of the city gates and along the Tuscan countryside toward Rome.

We traveled in silence the entire way until we pulled into the parking structure under a luxury hotel where she surrendered the keys to a valet and led me to the elevators that carried us to the top floor. I walked in astounded at the lavish accommodations that Ginny had arranged for herself. With the exception of my family, the Denalis, and the Volturi, I had never known vampires to have the kind of resources to afford such things. The nomads, which the majority of our kind tended to be, rarely owned more than what they carried on their backs.

I walked over to the tinted glass wall that overlooked the city and sighed as I took in the view I would normally consider amazing, but today it held no awe for me. All I could think of was how my Alice would have squealed in delight as she looked out over the scene pointing out the various shops below that she would most definitely venture out to explore once the sun went down. Oh my Alice, I missed her so very much. If only I understood why she would want me to carry on like this…wouldn't she rather I were at peace than be tortured constantly with her memory and the desire to have her by my side once more?

I sighed as I slumped on the bed and Ginny came over to place a comforting hand on my shoulder. I could feel the compassion and sympathy emanating from her body for a moment before a new memory came into view.

_A beautiful little girl with corkscrew curls in her hair sat in front of me in a church that was used as a schoolroom during the week. Her mahogany spirals bounced as she scribbled on the slate board in front of her and while I knew I should be doing my assignment, I also couldn't look away from her back. I was waiting for him to make another attempt to brutalize her and I wasn't going to let him get away with it this time._

_I focused on the black strip of curl at the bottom of one of her perfect tendrils and I had to fight the growl that tried to rip from my throat. Yesterday when I was out sick nobody was here to protect her and he dipped her hair in his ink well leaving the bottom of her curl stained black and who knew what he might try today._

_Timothy Blackwell was the mayor's son and got away with absolutely everything. I'm sure he charmed the teacher right out of the licks across the hand with her ruler that he had deserved. He tortured poor Ginny even more tirelessly than anybody else in the class and I suspected it was because he probably liked her. They were neighbors and of the same social standing, so I'm sure he felt entitled to her like a prize at the county fair, but there was no way he would get by with that with me around, even if I were simply the lowly son of a cattle rancher with a very small stretch of land. No gentleman would ever allow such a sweet and gentle lady to be treated that way in his presence. No, Timothy Blackwell would have a lot more black in his life than his name if I caught him torturing her today._

She removed her hand and with the loss of her touch the memory disappeared. I sighed grateful that even when the memories disappeared from my field of vision, I was now left with a memory of the vision to evaluate later. With every additional scene I was beginning to see the picture forming. Ginny and I had known one another for a great many years before I was changed. It appeared that I was protective of her from a very young age. I remembered the memory of the dance and how I had mused during that memory that I had once been her best friend.

I looked up at her face now, still foreign and yet familiar. It was frustrating to have a person that had once been a major part of your life, now be a total stranger and yet have them remember all aspects of your relationship.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked curious and yet my voice still sounded flat and lifeless. Of course I don't know why it shouldn't. I had no life now. This whole situation was simply me humoring Alice and this Ginny for a while before I finally discover the answers I seek and then return to Volterra to end my suffering and hopefully, if Carlisle and Bella were right, join my family in heaven. If I'm even allowed there with the atrocities I have committed…I know I don't deserve to go. If it's a possibility for our kind, I have no doubt that my Alice will be there. She was already an angel on Earth, she would already blend in perfectly in heaven…but me…I was the worst kind of monster.

"Well, that's up to you. I thought maybe we could go back to Missouri for a while. I already have a place there where you can deal with things away from a lot of people and we can figure out where to go from there. The one thing I do know is I don't want to spend any more time in Italy than necessary. Bein' this close to the Volturi is makin' me anxious."

I shrugged half heartedly before collapsing back on the bed no longer having the desire to hold myself upright. I felt the bed shift next to me as she laid down facing me placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. Visions of Alice and my family once again invaded my mind. As happy times we shared together filtered through my mind I was filled with such sadness as I reminded once again that I would never see them again. I would never laugh with my brothers as we wrestled in the back patio. I would never pretend to play chess with Alice to keep her happy even though I knew she would always win. I would never dance with her under the moonlight to the music playing in the diner the night that she walked up to me and filled all of the following days with her light. I would never be annoyed by Emmett and Rosalie's lack of control over their lust for one another. I would never have my heart warmed by the all encompassing love that Esme had in the presence of Carlisle and for each of us as she comforted us throughout the years.

My heart was so saddened and heavy with the loss and the day drifted into night as the visions of my family kept flowing in and out of my mind. Ginny never left my side throughout the entire day. She sat there with her hand on my shoulder providing waves of comfort and understanding as I wallowed in my love and loss for my family. I'm really unsure exactly how many hours had passed when her hand left my shoulder and the slideshow of memories stopped.

I wasn't sure why she had pulled so many memories from me for that time. Was she trying to learn more about my family through my memories? Was she really someone I could trust? Well, Alice sent her to find me, so obviously that wasn't a problem.

Was she trying to help me deal with my loss by making me think about and relive my feelings for my family? A bit of anger rose in my chest. Who the hell did she think she was…A freaking vampiress Dr. Phil? Why is it that people always think that they can help other people "get over" their loss? I didn't want to get over my loss. What's so hard to understand about the fact that my entire existence is gone?

"Why did you do that?" I finally growled in my annoyance.

She shrugged from her position lying next to me with her head propped up on her hand as her elbow dug into the bed. "I thought maybe you wanted to be able to experience them again a little more vividly. I'm sorry. I was hopin' it would help."

"I never asked for your help," my dead voice that was barely recognizable responded.

"You didn'…she did."

I turned to look at her with wide eyes. She looked so sad and there were more tearstains on her cheeks. "She was very beautiful and so very kind. Your memories of her…wow…you loved her so very, very much. I understand that kind of love and devotion. I still feel that way about my husband."

"Have you ever had another mate since your transformation?"

She shook her head with a sad smile, "Heavens no, I loved him more than life itself in my human form and that love amplified durin' my transformation as the memories grew brighter and brighter in my mind as my body burned. I think that every cell in my body took in that love for him durin' that process. The simple thought of touchin' another man in that way makes my skin crawl in disgust." She shivered before rolling onto her stomach tucking the pillow under her shoulders and digging both elbows into the bed as she rest her chin on her hands as she gazed out of the window behind the headboard looking down on the city's rose gardens.

I found that the more I listened to her the more interesting her story became pulling me ever so briefly from my mourning and I kept hoping for more details. She spoke of her family and her life as a child, how restricted she had felt growing up within the confines of southern high society, and how much it saddened her when she and I grew apart during our pre-teen years. She said that seeing me during that party was the happiest she had been in years and she was desperately hoping we would rekindle our friendship during the dinner she invited me and my fellow officers to attend that following week.

For the first time since she began speaking I participated in the conversation by asking if it did lead to a renewal of our friendship. She looked over at me and I could sense there was a combination of surprise and pleasure that I was actually listening and interested in her tale. She smiled and once again I felt as though I was watching that girl at the dance and was almost certain that if she were capable, the pale pink blush would have been included in that observation.

"Why yes, young Jasper. I am pleased to say that we did, although we weren' able to have the same friendship of our youth…propriety would not really allow that."

I returned her wide smile with a small one, grateful that my friendship could create such a pleased look on her face. Even if I didn't have the memories of it, they must have been nice.

"So we've established we were friends, what about your husband? Was he a friend of ours too?"

She frowned slightly as though she were measuring her words before a smirk graced her perfect lips. Wait, did I just think her lips were perfect? Well, I guess they are, as most vampires are. "Yes, he had been a friend of sorts. He shipped out the same day you did. Our romantic relationship had been a bit of a whirlwind. It caught everyone off guard when we announced our engagement and were married three days later. As I told you before, he left a week later and I never saw him again…but there's a part I didn' tell you. Two months later I discovered I was with child."

My mouth fell open…she was widowed and raised a child alone during the Civil War Era? I might not have many first hand memories of the time, but I've done enough research and saw enough once I was a vampire to know that it was no world that a woman on her own could thrive in. "How did you make it? That had to have been difficult."

"If it weren' for the mercy of my Daddy, I wouldn've. He took us in, all three of us," she said with a wide smile and I could feel pure pride and love radiating from her serene face. "I gave birth to twins, a son and a daughter."

She continued to glow as she went on and on about how amazing and beautiful they were. "Aaron and Scarlett were my whole world. Aaron was mild mannered and every bit the gentleman his father had been. Scarlett was full of fire and determination and was so incredibly intelligent. She could out think any man she came into contact with and managed to do it in a way that he never even realized he had been one upped." Her eyes sparkled, "She even attended college, my Scarlett. It was practically unheard of back then for a female to attend college, but my Daddy was a very powerful man and he had a soft spot for that girl. He pulled some strings and she actually managed to hold her own against all of the men, even in the face of the prejudice and chauvinism that prevailed there towards her. She graduated third in her class. It would have been first if she hadn' encountered some professors who refused to give her the marks she deserved. To this day she is still the smartest, spunkiest woman I have ever encountered!"

Confusion dominated my thoughts. The woman sitting next to me appeared to be no more than twenty-five. "Ginny, you don't look old enough to have been mature enough to have a grown daughter in college when you were changed."

She looked down again with a sadness once again emanating from her long lean body. "I was nineteen when I married, twenty when I had my beautiful babies, and twenty four when I orphaned them. I gained employment as the area schoolteacher in an attempt to help earn our keep. My mother was crazy about her grandbabies and begged me to permit her to keep them durin' the day while I worked so I agreed. I loved teachin'. Unfortunately there were occasions where it meant very late nights gradin' papers and meetin' with parents. It was one such late night in September, right after the start of the new school year, that led to the end of life as I knew it."

She sighed and rolled onto her back looking up at the ceiling completely lost in her memory. "Daddy's coachman was late pickin' me up so I decided that it was a nice night and I could walk home. I made my way across town and had almost gotten past the main street to walk down the small lane to our home when I felt two strong hands grab me from behind and pull me into a dark alley. I could smell the whisky on his breath as his dirty hand roamed over my clothes. I tried to scream, but he held one hand tightly over my mouth keepin' my lips from partin'. The panic was startin' to overwhelm me when suddenly a handsome gentleman appeared out of nowhere and ripped the dirty vagabond's hands from my body and pulled him away from me and around a corner. I stood frozen as I heard the piercin' scream of my attacker and then silence. Soon the stranger returned from the corner he had drug my attacker around and I was about to thank him for his assistance when I saw his face, his eyes." A visible shiver ran through her body as she paused.

"I had never seen such evil as what looked back at me from those crimson eyes. I remember thinkin' that he must be the devil himself. Before I could call for help he was upon me and I felt his sharp teeth break the skin at my neck and fire started to boil in my body. He carried me to a barn in the middle of an abandoned farm and left me to burn in silence and solitude. I never saw him again. I still don' know why he would allow me to change instead of finishin' me off. I guess I never will."

She turned to look at me. "I woke up with the burnin' thirst that I could not quench. I ran thrilled at my new speed as I sought what I desired to quench the ache. I reached the town in no time and began to stalk my prey, but just as I started to leap and claim my kill I froze. I knew the man, not only that, he was a kind man and a good husband and father and suddenly I realized that I couldn' bear to take a human life. I turned and ran as the memories of my friends and family flashed through my mind. I was frantic and unsure how I would survive, but I knew I could never take a human life. I ran past a herd of cattle on a remote ranch and realized that while not as appealin', the blood of the animals could at least partially sate my thirst and from that point on I only partook of the blood of animals."

"I was in an existential crisis. I knew what I was and I knew what I wasn't. I could never go back to my family, but I couldn' bear to leave my beautiful babies either, so instead I watched from afar. I looked after 'em and silently cheered them in their accomplishments and commiserated with 'em in their defeats. It kept me sane to watch after my human family. Eventually they became my sole purpose for livin'. I watched as their children and their children's children grew and spread out across the globe. I still check in on my descendents on a regular basis even to this day."

She looked over at me with an ironic smile. "Actually Jasper, you never knew this, but you actually met one of 'em. She ended up nearly becomin' your sister."

My eyes grew large, "You mean?"

She nodded, "Bella. Bella was Scarlett's very, very, very distant granddaughter."

"No Way!" I whispered in awe at the slender threads in the web of fate that seemed to stretch across space and time to connect people from my past to people in my present.

Or at least people who had until recently been in my present. My short reprieve from the pain as listened to Ginny weave her tale had ended and I was suddenly hit once more with the sorrow I felt at the loss of my family.

Ginny looked at me once more with compassion before caressing the top of my hand once in a show of sympathy before getting up from the bed and walking into the bathroom where I heard the shower turn on before I was once again buried in the sea of emotions. I'm not sure how much time passed, but when she emerged from the bathroom she began speeding around the room collecting our things and then came to stand next to the bed looking down at me with a smile.

"Up and at 'em Whitlock. We have a plane to catch!"

I shifted my eyes from the ceiling to her face and noticed the smile on her face and after a moment I finally groaned and willed my body to move again as I stood next to her and followed her back down to the garage to collect her car and make our way to the airport where we boarded a plane destined for Chicago Illinois where we would land at two in the morning and then catch another smaller plane to Springfield Missouri. We would arrive just before dawn and have to rush to claim our things and make it to the safety of Ginny's car.

We remained silent the entire trip as I was once again lost in my memories of my family. I had the slightest feelings of guilt though, because now the deep dark black hole I had felt in the meadow in Washington had gotten slightly smaller. I still missed them so much more than words could describe, but I was sitting next to a woman who had spent the better part of the last one hundred fifty plus years alone watching out for her human descendents from afar. I knew it was possible to continue on, but the bigger question was not whether I could but rather did I want to.

We arrived in Springfield and quickly gathered our things and made it to the large black Hummer with dark tinted windows. "Ready?" She asked from behind the wheel as she started the engine with a loud shudder. I nodded and she smiled as she jammed the car into gear. "Welcome to Missouri Whitlock!"


	3. Frozen in Time

**3. Frozen in Time**

We drove for what seemed like hours through twisting and winding two lane roads up and down and around mounds of earth that I would not actually refer to as 'mountains'. They were really more like moderate foothills. I had to admit that the area had potential for making a decent home for our kind. There was a fairly large human population, but they tended to be clustered in relatively small towns and areas with great expanses of land between where very few people appeared to reside. There was also a great deal of wildlife in the area. Granted they were smaller animals, the largest being the occasional black bear or buck, but they were quite plentiful.

Finally we turned down a winding dirt lane that abruptly ended about a mile up the side of a steep hill, but Ginny gunned the engine and continued to plod at a slightly precarious angle up the side. Now the large rugged vehicle that had seemed a bit over the top in an urban setting appeared quite necessary.

A few more miles across a bumpy overgrown trail long since neglected, we pulled in front of a beautiful large log cabin on the top of a medium sized hill with large windows that looked out in all four directions at the far stretching untouched wilderness. Ginny pulled the beast of a vehicle into a large metal garage on the far side of the meadow located just before the tree line and got out reaching back to grab our luggage before turning to me with a smile.

"Well, it's not the Ritz, but it's home," she said as she showcased her home with her hand before leading me toward the back door.

I followed her in to the house to find that it was full of very quaint and homey touches. It was feminine, not overly designed, but very welcoming. As I followed her through the den with the large rock fireplace, past the dining room and kitchen and into the living room where the staircase leading upstairs was located, I noticed that every room was covered with pictures that ranged from very old yellowed photographs from times gone by to more recent color photographs and everything in between. I didn't stop to linger over any of the faces in the pictures as we made our way to the staircase and up to the second floor.

It wasn't until we stopped in front of the second door on the left and she turned to face me that I realized that she had been speaking to me the whole way through the house and I hadn't actually heard a word. I stopped and focused on her words, "…please feel free to make yourself at home." She opened the door in front of her and led me into another cozy room with a queen size wooden framed bed draped in antique looking quilts. "You have your own bathroom over there and you can come and go as you please. I never lock the doors since nobody could really get here besides our kind and well, locks don't do a whole lot of good when it comes to them anyway. If you feel the need to hunt, it's safest to go north and west, this place is at the southern edge of a very large forest preserve, so there are no settlements in those directions, but there are towns located as close as ten miles south of us and twelve miles east. If you need anything at all, please feel free to ask."

She placed a green duffle bag on my bed explaining that it contained some clothes and supplies for me and then left the room closing the door behind her. I stepped slowly toward the window and looked out over the green curtain of nature beyond the clearing. I could hear the birds singing in the distance and while the sun seemed to shine brightly here most of the time, we didn't have to be concerned about staying away from it because we were so secluded. I sighed as I could practically see my Alice standing in the middle of the clearing below with a wide smile on her face and her hands lifted to the sky as she would spin in circles reveling in the warming rays. Tearless sobs racked my body again as the vision of my Alice faded. I felt so incredibly dead inside, what made me think that this was a good idea? What made me follow this incredibly kind stranger away from the peace I so desperately longed for?

I stood by the window looking out on the sea of green beyond, but not really seeing it at the same time. I barely registered that the sun disappeared and reappeared twice before I finally managed to pull myself back to the present suddenly registering the burning ache in my throat. I needed to hunt and sooner rather than later. I turned and walked out of the bedroom door and down the staircase to find Ginny curled up in a large wingback chair reading _Gone With The Wind _with silent tears streaking down her face. She looked up at me and smiled at me as I nodded to her and told her that I needed to hunt. She nodded in understanding and returned her gaze to her book as I continued my stride to the front door and opened it stepping out into the bright sunlight.

I stood for a moment gazing up at the giant ball of warmth in the sky and then struck by the memory of my vision I raised my hands and turned in circles picturing my Alice spinning along side me. I could almost hear her giggles and for the first time since I lost her, I felt the tiniest sense of peace. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and sighed when I found I was alone. I whispered a prayer that God grant mercy on my family and begged him to allow them into heaven before turning to run north into the wooded hills beyond the clearing.

I was gone a little over twelve hours filling myself with a half dozen large doe and a buck I found grazing in a valley about thirty miles northwest of the cabin after which I sat in a dark cave I found nearby and let the darkness surround me for several hours before finally returning to Ginny.

I walked in to find her sitting on the couch with a laptop on her legs as she typed furiously with a look of determination on her face. She looked up after she finished her paragraph and smiled, "So, did you have any trouble findin' some good game?"

"No, I found a valley about thirty miles away that seemed to attract herds of deer. I managed to catch several. I should be good for a couple of weeks now."

"Good, good." We both sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before I excused myself to return to my room and as soon as I was out of the room her furious typing resumed. I wondered for a moment what she could be writing, or to whom, but the thought was fleeting and then I was back in my world of grieving.

I have to say; Ginny was very patient with me. We went on like this for the next two months. I stayed in my room most of the time, mourning the loss of my family and only leaving to hunt before returning once again. Ginny was always around when I would emerge, typically sitting in the living room engaged in some form of entertainment to pass the time…never pushing, almost always smiling.

It was my seventy third day in this house and I sat on the bed staring at the far wall lost in my own thoughts when my gaze focused on the framed photo hanging above the headboard. It was a very old and faded image of a beautiful woman standing next to three very young children. I moved closer to observe more closely and saw writing on the matting that surrounded the picture. _Scarlett, Josephine, Virginia, and Victor August 12, 1894 Corpus Christi Texas _

I looked closer at the picture, examining the features of the beautiful woman looking stoically at the camera. She appeared to have long dark hair that was pinned primly upon her head and while she closely resembled her mother, there were other features that differed from her mother's that must have come from her father. You could tell from looking at her eyes that she had a keen wit behind the beautiful façade. The children surrounding her were equally as stunning and all appeared to have the same glint of intelligence behind their eyes.

This photograph piqued my curiosity. I began to wander around the house examining the many photographs hanging in the various rooms upstairs, with the exception of the master suite where Ginny resided. I didn't feel it was right to intrude on her personal space. I finally encountered her as I stood on the staircase observing the framed photos lining the wall, face after face each frozen perfectly and lovingly in time. Each and every image, no matter the age, had been lovingly framed and labeled with names, dates and locations. She came to stand next to me as I stood in shock at a picture of a slightly younger Bella posed with her mother Renee at what appeared to be a wedding. Bella's face was smiling, but the happiness I had known behind her eyes during her time with Edward and my family was strangely absent. The label read, _Renee and Bella Swan July 6,2002 Phoenix Arizona._

Ginny began to speak echoing the thoughts I had only moments before, "She looks so dim there. She really didn't come to life until she met your brother you know. You all filled her life with so much love and acceptance that she had been missing so much of her life. I was so pleased to see the change in her."

I turned to stare at her in disbelief again. "You saw her after she came to Forks?"

"I always observed from afar Jasper. I never came to Forks while Bella lived there, but in many cases I keep track of my family members by inserting myself in the periphery of their lives. I had developed a distant friendship with Renee and was able to see pictures and gather information through her once Bella moved away. Actually that may be part of the reason why she accepted your kind so readily without fear, not that she was ever aware, but you weren't the first vampires she had ever formed an acquaintance with."

I shook my head as I tried to process the new information. Every time I spoke to Ginny I felt as though I walked away with far more additional questions than answers. Soon she began leading me around the house telling me about the people in each photo. It was staggering to see how many people she had looked over across the centuries as her line of descendants multiplied with each generation.

We spent the rest of the night and most of the next day discussing her progeny and what it was like to know they were out there, that she lived on in flesh and blood all of these years later. Sometime toward mid morning the next day the conversation came back around to our past.

A flash of guilt hit me when I realized that I had actually managed to go the majority of our entire conversation without thinking of my family at all, the last time having been while we were discussing Bella's photo. I took a deep breath and I thought of the fact that this was what Alice wanted. She directed me here for a reason, she wanted me to move on with my life and learn about my past. I wasn't sure I would ever accomplish the first part, but I could definitely manage the second.

"Ginny, do you think that we could try to bring up some more of my memories of our past? I'd like to learn more."

She smiled a wide beaming smile and nodded. "I'd love to Jasper. Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes, I think that maybe I finally am."

"Okay," she said with a smile as she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

_I was sitting at a large table covered in fancy china and surrounded by men in officer's uniforms all droning on about boring subjects. Ginny sat to my right and was engaged in a conversation with Timothy Blackwell who had become a fellow officer in my unit joining the same day as me. He had grown up a lot since the days that he used to torture Ginny and dip her curls in his ink well at school. If it weren't for my insane jealousy I would probably actually like the man, but I could never get over my frustration at the fact that when we hit our preteen years Ginny and I drifted apart and due to their family connections and growing up next door to one another they had grown together. Eventually Timothy attempted to court her, but his advances were rebuked. My frustration was beginning to visibly bubble to the surface when to my great relief Ginny turned to me and spoke._

_"Any news on your new orders yet Major Whitlock?"_

_"No ma'am, no official word yet, but I keep hearin' whispers of Houston."_

_"It makes me nervous you goin' there. I know it's not really the front, but I've heard a lot of stories of people goin' missin' that way and rumors that they were captured by the Yankees. Oh please watch yourself Major." She looked so genuinely concerned that I couldn't resist reaching over to touch her delicate gloved hand._

_"I promise you Miss Benjamin, I will be ever vigilant." She visibly relaxed and the wide smile that spread across her face warmed my heart and set it into speedy palpitations that grew even faster the she glanced down at our hands and back up through her eyelashes as a beautiful pink glow illuminated her cheeks._

_I was so lost in the bask of her beautiful glow that I had forgotten that we were in the presence of others until I heard a deep voice at the end of the table clear harshly and I looked up to see Mr. Benjamin frowning down at me disapprovingly. I looked down and my eyes grew wide as I noticed my indiscretion and blushed as I quickly pulled my hand away from hers folding it with my other in my lap and holding it tightly there so as to not have another unconscious slip._

_The dinner continued and I tried to converse with the other officers around me, but I desperately wanted to talk to Virginia some more. I genuinely hoped that we could rekindle some of the camaraderie we had shared in our youth. I finally saw my opportunity as dinner came to a close and our hosts invited us all to join them for brandies in the sitting room. We all migrated together into a large formal sitting room where a large fireplace on the far wall was already rumbling with large warming fire. The sitting room shared a common doorway with a billiard room where the majority of the officers gathered after collecting their brandies from the globe bar on the far side of the room leaving just a few quiet stragglers behind in the sitting room to visit with Mrs. Benjamin and Virginia._

_I stood at attention by the fireplace as I distractedly examined the painting of the family hanging above the mantle and the few framed photographs sitting daintily on the long shelf. Virginia's status as an only child was quite evident in the fact that every photograph was of her. My smile grew wider with each picture I examined. One was of her dressed in a Cotillion gown standing on a grand staircase, the next was of her reading a book on a large window seat, but the final one caused my smile to break into a full on toothy grin as I saw Virginia, Tommy, and I standing side by side along with the rest of our classmates for a class photo when we were not more than ten years old. She had been a beautiful little girl, but she had grown into a breathtaking woman. I was a bit lost in my memories and evaluations when I heard a soft voice behind me that made me jump._

_"Remembering old times Major?" I turned to see her smiling as she took a small sip of iced tea._

_"Actually, yes Ma'am, I was."_

_"Seems like a million years ago doesn't it? Oh how nice it would be to go back and be a child again…to not know of war or death or sadness." She moved to the window with her back to me and looked out into the night with a sigh before turning to me and saying only loud enough for me to hear, "I'm serious Jasper, you watch yourself out there. I have a bad feeling about that area. Promise me you'll be careful." There was a softness in her eyes and a genuine concern and all I wanted to do was comfort her more than anything._

_I reached my hand out to rest on her forearm as I gazed back into her sky blue eyes with all the seriousness I could muster. "I promise you Virginia, I will be careful. Don' be scared my dear," I whispered back. She smiled a small sad smile before taking a step back and raising her voice again to return to our formal conversation._

_The group of party goers continued to visit quietly until the clock struck eleven and we all collected our outerwear and began to make our way to the door, thanking our hosts for the wonderful dinner and company. I kept finding reasons to stay behind eventually making myself the last one to leave. Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin bid me good evening and left the room leaving Virginia and I alone in the foyer. I bid her polite good night and turned toward the door when I felt her small warm hand on my forearm._

_"Jasper, could we perhaps see one another again before you leave? I miss spending time with you. I miss my best friend. Please?"_

_"You know it would be an honor Virginia, but it would be highly inappropriate," I answered in a frustrated whisper wanting nothing more than to reunite with my oldest friend._

_"Oh propriety be damned!" I gasped in shock and shook my head._

_"No, I won't let you ruin your reputation."_

_She shook her head and smiled, "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, always the steadfast gentleman. If we found a way to invite a few others along for say a picnic then it would be a completely acceptable social outing with escorts."_

_I smiled and took a deep breath pushing it out in fast huff. "That actually sounds quite lovely."_

_Her eyes sparkled and then grew brighter as an apparently brilliant idea struck her. "Actually I have the perfect idea! Most of our old classmates are still in the area. Perhaps later this week or over the weekend we could arrange a class reunion of sorts. We could invite Timothy and also Angela, Charles, James, Michael, Laura, Elizabeth, and Daniel all still live in the area. This could be great fun!"_

_I smiled widely at her excitement. "It sounds perfect. Now if you will excuse me Miss Virginia, I must depart. You know where to reach Timothy and I when you know more about the picnic?"_

_She nodded and I took her hand placing a gracious kiss on the back of her hand with a bow as she curtsied in response and I walked out the front door and made my way to the officer's quarters._

I felt the warmth of Ginny's hand leave me and I was once again sitting in her living room. I looked over at her and smiled. Even back then in the midst of her life as the belle of the ball, she was already fighting against convention. I could hear her words echo in my mind _Oh propriety be damned!_ and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"And what may I ask is so funny?" She asked looked at me with an amused look on her face and her hands propped up on her hips.

"Oh Miss Ginny, you always were a spitfire weren't you?"

She laughed openly as she threw her head back shaking it slightly. "Oh Jasper, if you _only_ knew how true that was!"

We sat and talked the rest of the night as Ginny asked me to tell her about her early years after my transformation and my involvement with Maria's coven and the vampire wars of the south. Her eyes bulged in horror at some of the tales I shared about the things I had witnessed in my years with Maria and my familiarity with newborns and how they react. She looked at my neck and exposed portions of my body with sadness and understanding as she finally put together the scars with my past. I told her about Peter and how noticing my despair convinced me to leave the coven and seek life elsewhere on my own. She listened intently never once taking her eyes off of mine.

Finally with the break of dawn, we decided to take a break from our story weaving. It had been quite a while since either of us had hunted and so I offered for us to go together if she wished. She happily accepted and we ran off together in search of game to quench our growing thirst. It wasn't the same as spending time with my family, but the more I learned about my past with Ginny the more comfortable I became with her. We quickly located and dispatched a small herd of deer and a small family of black bear before deciding we had met our needs and returned to the house that was slowly starting to feel more and more like a refuge and less like a prison.


	4. Redemption for A Monster

**4. Redemption For A Monster**

Slowly things were getting easier. I would never stop missing my family and particularly my Alice, but I had found that while not preferable, it was possible to survive without them. I even had brief spans of time that were almost what you would call peaceful. This was a beautiful parcel of land that Ginny lived on and there were times that it felt almost magical in it's simplistic beauty. When I first came to live here, I couldn't see the beauty for the pain, but like I said, things are slowly getting easier.

Time began to pass much more quickly after our first hunt together. In our discussions I had learned that the forest preserve actually belonged to Ginny. She had come to the area during the great depression and bought up large portions of land giving the people far more money than the property was worth at the time trying to give them a chance to improve their lives. She paid to have the houses and roads that once crisscrossed the area destroyed, thus providing jobs for many individuals out of work in the area and had it proclaimed national preservation land to keep hunters and hikers from being able to invade the area. Her home was the only one on the entire parcel of land that stretched nearly 150 square miles.

We had taken a break the past couple of weeks on the memory lane trips. We discovered that if we did too much memory retrieval in a short period of time, it had a disorienting effect on the both of us. So we took a step back and focused on the present and sharing our own stories instead of bringing up the visual memories using her gift.

One day last week we began talking about some of the individuals in our past and while she had photographs of most of the people that she knew and interacted with, I did not, so instead I set out to draw pictures. One of the other perks of being a vampire is a photographic memory and the physical control to be able to replicate images from our memories in nearly flawless relief. I had worked all week in a sketchbook to create images of Maria, Peter, Charlotte, some of my best warriors in Maria's coven, as well as some of the Volturi guard members, which she had never met. I finished the last of them and made my way down to find her in the living room where she spent the majority of her free time. Once again she was typing furiously on her laptop.

"So are you ever going to tell me what you're writing on that thing?"

She looked up and smiled turning it so I could see, "Well it's not a big secret. The computer age is such a wonderful thing. I can keep up with my descendents across the globe and never leave this room! Right now I am responding to Brigitte, she's fourteen and lives in France. She's one of Aaron's line."

I furrowed my brow examining the response written in perfect French and smiled. "How exactly do you start a relationship like this? How do you know that they're your family."

"Oh, well, I set myself up as pen pals or find ways to meet up with 'em in chat rooms. It's really not that difficult to search people out if you know what you're doin'."

"Do you ever use this thing for anything else?"

"Oh sure, I do research and I write my novels on it."

"Novels?" I was confused.

She laughed, "You mean you've lived here for nearly four months and never knew I write novels for a living?"

I shook my head and frowned. Was I really that out of it? "Yeah…I mean no, I didn't know. Would I have read any of your work?"

She shrugged, "Possibility I guess, I've been writing for well over a hundred years under various pennames. This decade I've been writing under G.S. Benjamin."

Now my eyes grew wide, "G.S. Benjamin? I've been living with THE G.S. Benjamin this whole time and never knew it? Your writing is amazing! I've never read such accurate depictions of civil war fiction. Of course, I guess that would make sense now wouldn't it?" We both laughed.

"Wow…that's amazing." We sat for a few minutes I silence. "Well, I better let you get back to your email. I just wanted to let you know I finished the drawings if you'd like to see."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, I was almost done. Just wait two seconds for me to finish this up and hit send and then you can show me."

I smiled and watched and she furiously typed for a few more seconds with a look of extreme concentration on her face before she hit enter a few times and then closed the laptop sitting it aside and turning back to me with a wide smile on her face. I moved closer so we could look at the sketchbook together and I flipped it open.

"This was Maria. To this day I'm not sure I've met a person with a colder harder heart than Maria. She was the matriarch of a major southern coven and she was the one who ordered my change. For a long time I just assumed that the life I lived with her was the way all vampires lived. I served her for over seventy years, but it was a difficult life. I didn't know then that my ability was a lot of my problem. I could feel the emotions of my prey and it depressed me."

"Finally, my friend Peter," I flipped the page to show Peter and Charlotte, "suggested that I should seek life outside of the coven. He saved me in almost every respect by convincing me to take that step. You've seen the physical results of my life there, and it shakes me to the core to think that if I hadn't left, I never would have met my Alice and had the beautiful life with the Cullens otherwise. The lady is his wife Charlotte"

I flipped one more page to reveal Max, my second in command in the coven. He had been one of our best recruiters bringing in newborns from all across the south to join our fight. He had strangely disappeared on one such trip and never returned. I didn't get a chance to give any details on Max though because the second I flipped the page Ginny gasped and tensed next to me and I felt an overwhelming surge of fear and anguish wash over me. I looked over to see Ginny staring with wide eyes and a horrorstruck expression on her face.

"Ginny dear, are you okay? What's wrong?" She just stared still as can be; a tear slowly rolled down her smooth cheek.

"Ginny? What's the matter Ginny?" I tossed the book haphazardly to the floor and reached out to put my arm around her shoulder comfortingly. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she began to whisper.

"Jasper? Jasper? Tttthhh…that's him Jasper! That's the man wh…who ch..ch..changed me."

My breath caught in my throat as the realization hit. I felt her begin to shake in my arms as the increasing terror rose in her body and the single tear transformed into a torrent of wet sobs. I pulled her closer trying to push a sense of calm toward her in attempt to assuage her pain. She turned and buried her face in my chest wrapping her arm around my waist as her sobs grew louder and I was ripped with a throbbing guilt in my core. This was my fault. She was like this because of me. I sent him out repeatedly to transform and recruit newborns. That's why he took her to the barn and allowed her to change, she was going to be a recruit, but before he could go back and retrieve her something happened to him and he never came back. Oh God! This was All My Fault!

If I could cry, I would have been. I tried to put a stop to my guilt so that I could help her calm down and relax, but I couldn't. My power was useless at the moment, so instead I just pulled her closer and stroked her soft hair and whispered words of consolation in her ear. "I'm so, so sorry Ginny. I'm so sorry. I never dreamed, how would I know? I'm so very sorry. This is all my fault."

In a sudden move she sat up and looked at me. I expected fury and anger in her eyes, but instead there was confusion and compassion. "How would this be our fault Jasper?"

"He worked for me. I sent him out to recruit and transform newborns for the cause. That's why he left you to burn, he planned to come back and retrieve you and take you back to Houston to join the coven. If not for me, you would have stayed with your children. You would never have had to endure what you have endured. It's all my fault."

She sat up and turned grabbing my face between her hands. "No, don' you go blamin' yourself. If it hadn' been you leadin' that army, it would've been someone else. Don' you go blamin' all the woes in my life on yourself…Don' you dare!"

"But it's…"

She covered my mouth with her hand, "No Jasper Whitlock, it is not nor shall it ever be your fault so stop!" She slowly removed her hand and I didn't attempt to speak, but it didn't stop me from feeling the pain. I felt myself falling into my depression again. I wasn't a help to anyone. Maybe I should just go back to the Volturi because surely she wouldn't want me here now.

"You stop that right now Jasper! I mean it!"

"What?" I asked feigning innocence.

"You forget that when you're feelin' somethin' strongly that you send it right back out of you and right now all I can feel is guilt, remorse, defeat, and I'm guessing that's a decision to return to the Volturi in there somewhere too? No way, you're not bailin' out on me now! You've come too far. Look me in the eye. I do not blame you, and you are always welcome here. Got that?"

I nodded more than a little taken aback by the fact that she pretty much nailed every thought I'd had over the last five minutes on the head with frightening accuracy. I guess we really were getting to know one another. After a few minutes of her staring me in the eyes as though she were forbidding me to think any of those thoughts again, she finally reached down and grabbed the sketchbook off of the floor and studied the picture of Max for a moment more before turning the page to another member of the coven and asking me for more information.

We went through the remainder of the pictures I had drawn before she thanked me for sharing my past with her and excusing herself, she disappeared to her suite and stayed there for the rest of the day. Occasionally I would walk by and test the emotional environment of the room. Her emotions were mostly fluctuating between confusion, anger, sadness, longing, and love. I was confused for a bit by that until I realized that she probably kept pictures of her husband and children in there and was probably looking at them to help her deal with her pain. Three hours later, the emotions seemed to calm and stayed focused around love and longing and so I left the house and took a run in the woods to give her a little more space assured that she would be okay and would probably not be needing me now.

I ran faster and faster wishing I could escape the inevitable guilt that I was the one responsible for sweet Virginia Benjamin's transformation. I stole her away from her children when they were only four years old. I stole her life at the young age of twenty-four. I was once again face to face with the fact that I was and always would be a monster. I stopped dead in my tracks and dropped to the ground in a clearing as dry sobs shook my body.

"Why Alice? Why did you encourage me to stay alive to come here and find out that I ruined even more lives than I ever knew…innocent lives? Why would you want me to suffer like this? Didn't you love me enough to want me with you wherever you are now? Oh Alice!"

I don't know how much time passed as I sat there feeling the overwhelming guilt over the pain my existence caused for such a kind and caring person. Even once she was changed and had the bloodlust running through her, without any guidance from anyone else, she managed to rein in her desires and never feed on a human. I've only known one other person to accomplish such a task without guidance and he was the best man I had ever known. Carlisle…oh did I ever miss Carlisle's guidance now. I missed them all so very much.

The day turned to night and finally I had wallowed in my guilt until it had diminished to a dull ache in my chest and I got back up and returned to the house. I walked in to find a worried Ginny pacing the floors. When I walked in she ran to the door and threw her arms around her neck with tears pooling on my shoulder.

"Oh Jasper! Oh thank God! I was so worried that you left and went back to Italy! I'm so glad you didn'! Please, please don' leave me alone again! I've been alone so long and now I finally have a friend again. Please don' leave!"

My heart sank that I had terrified her like this. I actually hadn't even truly considered going back since our conversation, despite my impassioned pleas to Alice as to why she sent me here, I had wished she had never led me away from their doors, but I hadn't planned to return.

I wrapped my left arm around her waist pulling her close and ran my right hand through her hair. Her desperation was like a tidal wave crashing over me. "I'm not leavin' darlin'. I'm sorry I scared you. I promise you, I'm not goin' back now." I couldn't help but notice that my southern drawl seemed to have come back thicker than ever when I let the statement escape my mouth. I focused on sending peace and calm to her and finally her breathing slowed and the tension in her arms slowly released.

She slowly pulled back and looked at me with embarrassment in her eyes and in her emotions. "Oh, I'm sorry Jasper." She took a step back. "I shouldn' have done that. I shouldn' make you feel like you can't leave. It's always your choice, I just wanted you to know that I didn' want you to go. I'm sorry." And with that she disappeared back up to her room, the door slamming behind her.

I stood there a while bewildered by the events that just transpired. Then it hit me, the answer to my questions in the woods. Why had Alice sent me here? To right a wrong, to reconnect with my past, and to give a lonely woman who had spent the last 150 plus years alone thanks to me a little companionship. She's giving me a chance to make a positive difference in a life I helped to ruin. _Thank you Alice. Thank you for showing me a reason to continue. Thank you for giving me a chance at redemption._


	5. The Writing On TheTree

**5. The Writing On The Tree**

Time continued to carry forward as Ginny and I settled into a comfortable co-existence. We somehow managed to fall into an understanding, each recognizing the signs of when the other needed alone time and when we needed the company of one another. It was easy with Ginny, I even hedge to say it was easier than with my family because first of all there were only two of us, the fewer people the less conflict, but more than that we just seemed to mesh. We never conflicted because we never seemed to disagree on much at all. Of course it didn't hurt that Ginny was without a doubt the most agreeable and flexible person I had ever met. She was very much a go with the flow type person, which allowed any potential conflicts to be smoothed out before they even began.

This all being so, the events of today caught me by surprise. I had just finished a book we had picked up from town earlier in the week and put it down before going downstairs to meet Ginny in the kitchen. She was staring out of the window over the kitchen sink with that distant look in her eye and the feeling in the air that let me know that today was not a social day for us. I turned to go when she called out to me asking me to stop.

"Jasper, it's been a long time since you've asked to me to help you search your memories. Are you no longer interested in your past?"

I could feel sadness and annoyance in her emotions and I was perplexed as to why it was bothering her. I was still very curious about our past and friendship, but knowing how much it drained her when we did explore the past and considering we had already developed a pretty well balanced relationship without our past being revealed, I had thought perhaps it was better not to push the subject.

"It's not necessarily that I'm not interested, but we seemed to have built a pretty decent life here and I didn't see taxing you when I understand our history a little more now."

She turned and looked at me with a combination of hurt and anger in her eyes that I really didn't understand. The feeling I had registered in her eyes hit me an instant later in a wave that was far more intense than I had anticipated and I was greatly confused as to how my answer would cause such a reaction in her. Her fury blazed for a moment before it transformed into desolated hopelessness and her whole frame slumped before she turned back to look out the window.

"Ginny, I'd be happy to explore more of our past if you want to, I just didn't want to drain you if it wasn't necessary. Is there something else I should know about our friendship that I haven't already revealed?"

She sighed and shook her head, but I felt the sadness and apprehension around us and I was suddenly even more curious about the past we had yet to explore if she were experiencing these emotions under the impression that I didn't care. Obviously there was much more to our friendship that I needed to understand.

I walked over behind her and placed my hand on her shoulder, "Please Ginny, I'd really like to know more, I was honestly only considering your well being."

She nodded and I felt her body tense as the room faded and I was once again in another memory.

_The sun was shining as we sat on a small hill near a local park. I sat back on my elbows looking up at the clouds and I leaned over and pointed one out to Virginia sitting next to me. She smiled up as she found the sailboat I had pointed out and her ringlets danced as she giggled at my praise for finding it so quickly. It was the last day of school before summer vacation and next year we would be going from the fifth grade to the sixth. _

_I looked over to watch Virginia lay back on the blanket searching the skies for another cloud. "Oh over there," she said, "see just above the tree line…there's a teddy bear holdin' an umbrella."_

_I looked to where she was pointing and couldn't see it. "Here, lay down…maybe the angle will help."_ _I lay down next to her and scooted so my head was next to hers and for a moment I was too distracted by the smell of her lavender shampoo to notice the clouds at all. "Can't you see it Jasper? It's right there." She pointed and I finally recovered myself and followed her gaze making out the outline that could be a teddy bear holding an umbrella._

_"Oh yeah," I answered, "I see it now." I didn't attempt to move away again, confused by the new feeling and yet not wanting to move away either. So I stayed there with my head just inches away from my best friend Virginia's and tried to ignore the butterflies bouncing around in my abdomen._

_We stayed there another ten minutes before Virginia got restless. When she sat up and left I felt a strange sadness inside that I had never felt before. She grabbed my hand to pull me up to follow her and a funny tingle ran up my arm and made my chest hurt. I didn't understand what was going on, but I thought I kind of liked it. She led me to a tree at the edge of the park and asked if I had my pocketknife, I nodded and handed it to her and she took it more adeptly than any girl I had ever known and began to carve skillfully into the trunk of the tree._

I'm not sure why, but the memory changed ever so slightly, I now found myself in the same place but standing next to a much older Ginny.

_"Oh Jasper, I'm so glad you could make it." I took Virginia's hand and kissed the back of it gently with a bow. She curtsied in reply and then began reintroducing me to faces from our past that were familiar and yet had changed a bit with age. She went around the group making formal introductions back and forth. We all stood chatting for a long time before we made our way onto the hill where the men assisted me in laying out the blankets as the ladies knelt down and dug into their picnic baskets bringing out a large spread for us all to share. We all sat in a circle on the blankets and I was a bit annoyed when Virginia ended up seated on the far side of the circle next to Timothy Blackwell. They laughed and talked the entire time and shared the easy and open conversation that this whole picnic was conceived of in order to allow __**us**__ to share…not them. Even all of these years later, Timothy Blackwell still managed to be the bane of my existence._

_Soon the food was finished and we all worked together to clean up after which the ladies began dragging their husbands and suitors down to the playground taking turns being swung in the large wooden swings hanging for the use of the area children. I chuckled as I watched grown men and women revert to their childhood before my very eyes. I smelled her before I heard her._

"Jasper, I'm sorry that we haven't gotten to spend as much time together today as I had hoped."

_I turned to look at her, I was sure the hurt I had been feeling was evident in my eyes. I nodded and she looked down appearing contrite. The reached out and looped her hand around my elbow. "Come with me, I want you to see somethin'."_

_She led me to the tree line and right there in front of me was the carving we had made nearly ten years before, browning with age but still there. __**VSB + JAW Friends Forever **__Suddenly the memory of that day returned to my mind full force._

_**She had just finished carving the tree with my knife before turning to me giggling. "Jasper, your initials spell out the word Jaw! I never noticed that before." **_

_**I looked down and blushed before looking at the carving again in wonder. "Virginia, what's your middle name?" **_

_**She giggled, "Scarlett." Then she reached her hand forward and took my hand lacing our fingers and leaned forward placing a kiss on my cheek. I flushed red again as my hand shot up to my cheek and rested over the place that still tingled from her lingering kiss. **_

_**I leaned over to return her kiss when I heard a piercing voice scream across the meadow. "Virginia Scarlett Benjamin, come here right this instant!" My head shot toward the sound and saw her mother storming across the grass and my eyes grew wide as I saw the anger in her eyes. She snatched Virginia's hand right out of mine and stormed away dragging a crying Virginia behind her.**_

_"Our friendship was never the same after that." I whispered._

_"She made me stay away from you," she whispered back looking with a sad expression at the carving in the tree trunk. "I missed you so much." She shifted her gaze to my eyes. "I still miss you Jasper…every day."_

_My eyes grew wide as she slid her hand down my arm and intertwined our fingers as she leaned forward and placed another sweet kiss on my cheek just like that day so many years ago. I reached my hand up to cover the place her lips had lingered with a blush filling my face, a matching one filling hers. Just then we heard the voice of Timothy Blackwell from the playground below calling for Virginia and she blushed a deeper red._

_"Promise me I'll see you again Jasper…please, promise me." Her eyes searched mine in earnest and I nodded. She let go of my hand and walked quickly away to join the group below. I stood there in a daze as I stared at the letters carved in the tree running my fingers over them gently. I pulled out my pocketknife slowly and carefully carving a heart around the aged letters before closing it and walking away still dazed but a bit happier._

I pulled my hand back hastily from Ginny's shoulder, confusion filling my mind as I analyzed what I had just seen in my head. I heard Ginny sigh, obviously feeling my confusion.

"Ginny?"

"Hmm?" I heard her barely answer.

"I know you're probably tired, but I'd like to see more as soon as you're ready, but not today okay?"

"Sure"

I started to walk upstairs but I turned at the bottom of the steps and went back to the kitchen, "Hey Ginny, I'm curious, What is my middle name?"

She turned and stared and I could sense her anxiety although for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. She opened her mouth to speak when her cell phone rang. She jumped and ran to grab it off of the countertop.

"Hello? Oh hi Wes." I felt a sense of relief and then excitement. "Really? Is it in town now? Oh thanks Wes, I'll go pick it up right away and let you know what I think. Alright, bye, bye."

She turned to me with her eyes bright. "That was the publisher, how would you feel about a little drive to town?"

I smiled and nodded wondering why she was so excited all of a sudden. "What's going on? What do you need to pick up?"

"Well it seems that they just finished up the mock up release of my newest book and two copies are waitin' at the post office for me to preview right at this moment. Mr. Whitlock, would you like to be the first person in America to read GS Benjamin's newest novel?"

My eyes widened with excitement, "Would I? My dear Miss Benjamin, it would be an absolute honor!"

She smiled a wide smile grabbing her keys off the hook by the door and we both took off running full speed to the hummer and made our way into town, both of us dropping the topic of conversation for now…but I made a note to myself to ask about my middle name again later.

We got to the post office and as soon as the worker handed her the package she ripped it open and pulled out two hardback copies of her newest novel _Unfinished Business._ I read the synopsis on the dust cover eagerly. _**A young southern lady is left behind as the love of her life goes off to fight a war she wishes never began, but not before they are married and she is impregnated. Lost in a war too desolate for description, she is informed that he is gone forever. What happens when five years later he returns to find his life turned utterly upside down with a remarried wife and a child he never knew existed? Will he ever learn to live again? Will the ravages of war allow him to heal and become whole? These are the questions but will there ever be any answers?**_

I opened to the first page and began to read of the separation of two hearts that had just been united and I recognized right away that this story had to be based on her own tale, only in this tale her husband returns to her. If only that had been possible…maybe her life would have turned out differently. I found myself wondering about her husband. I tried not to push knowing that it was a painful subject, but I couldn't help but hope that this book would maybe open the door to a discussion on the subject. I followed Ginny back to the car and eagerly consumed the first chapter on the drive back to the house.

When we got home she smiled and I nodded to the book indicating I was off to my room to read. She nodded and moved over to the couch with her cell phone in hand. Just before I closed the door I heard her voice, "Hey Wes? It's perfect!" I smiled and walked to the bed sitting on the edge and opening to chapter to and I was instantly pulled once again into the mind of GS Benjamin…also known as my best friend Ginny.

_**Author's Note: Okay guys, I promise you that I have the next chapter of Chasing Away The Shadows done…my beta is looking it over as soon as she gets time…but she's a very busy girl right now, so I'm not sure how soon I'll get it back. In the way of good news…I also have an extras chapter to go with it…so 2 for the price of 1…although it's really racy…fair warning. Anyway, please tell me what you think of this chapter. I'm working on very little sleep…the baby is sick and I've been up most of the night the last two nights with her. I'm exhausted, but when inspiration strikes, you gotta run with it! Anyway, please take the time to review…Anybody have any theories yet? I'm just curious. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you all soon! By the way, I warned most of you that this would be a short one. We only have a two maybe three more chapters to go! I'm not sure when I'll post again, but the way this story is sticking with me, it probably won't be too terribly long…then again, I do have the wedding to write for Chasing the Shadows so who knows! Love you guys!**_


	6. Ginny's Tale

**Author's Note: Up to this point I have been working exclusively with Jasper's POV, but now that I think most of you are starting to figure out the big mystery and we're close to the end, I'm going to give you Ginny's POV of the last chapter. If you haven't figured out the big mystery then you're about to, even if Jasper's been too thick headed to work it out for himself yet. Without further adieu, Ginny:**

**

* * *

**

6. Ginny's Tale

I stood in the kitchen suffering once again from a valley of the emotional rollercoaster I had been riding for the past five months. How is it possible to miss someone even more when they're living right under the same roof than you did when you thought they were completely lost to you forever? It's true though, somehow having him live in my house and yet still not know the reality of our relationship stabs me in the heart on a nearly daily basis. I've been observing all of his memories with him since he once again entered my life, and I knew he has enough information that he should be able to start seeing the truth coming together, but it was like he was being intentionally obtuse and I was torn between understanding whole heartedly that he was still broken and hurting and not ready for the truth, but at the same time it was clear that he didn't want to see. He hadn't even bothered to ask me to help him bring up any of our memories for several weeks now.

I closed my eyes and sighed as I felt him enter the room behind me. The vice clamp on my heart tightened the closer he came. He stood in silence for a moment before I heard him turn to go back upstairs and before I realized what I was doing I had called his name.

"Jasper, it's been a long time since you've asked to me to help you search your memories. Are you no longer interested in your past?"

It took him a long time to answer and the vice grip on my heart tightened. He didn't care. He didn't want to know. I've loved him my whole life and all the years since and he didn't even want to know! I felt a strange mix of anger and sadness as the thoughts washed over me repeatedly.

"It's not necessarily that I'm not interested," he replied, "but we seemed to have built a pretty decent life here and I didn't see taxing you when I understand our history a little more now."

I couldn't help the hurt and anger I felt as I turned to face him locking eyes with his gaze. He looked a bit shocked and shuddered a bit as though he were surprised. _Well of course he'd be surprised, Ginny. He doesn't know, you silly fool. Why would he expect you to be hurt? Remember, you need to be patient and understanding…he doesn't remember._

I felt my heart crumple like an aluminum can being collapsed, folding upon itself as it crumpled down to a flat disc. He didn't remember. I wasn't important enough to remember. The fire erased me so easily from his mind when he was transformed, so obviously I didn't mean as much to him and he did to me. I couldn't have and what made me think that he would even care if he knew now? He loved his vampire family so fiercely, his weak human feelings he once held for me would pale in comparison to those emotions. I felt my shoulders fold onto themselves, as the hopelessness of my incomprehensible situation took over my countenance as I gazed unseeing into the deep green of the forest beyond the walls of my home.

I heard his soft voice behind me filled with compassion and a desire to understand. "Ginny, I'd be happy to explore more of our past if you want to, I just didn't want to drain you if it wasn't necessary. Is there something else I should know about our friendship that I haven't already revealed?"

I sighed and shook my head indicating that there was more he needed to know. I couldn't help but feel sad and anxious. How much longer would it take him to finally reach the memories that would be undeniable and how will I feel if he finds a way to deny them anyway?

I felt him walk up behind me and place a gentle and slightly hesitant hand on my shoulder. "Please Ginny, I'd really like to know more, I was honestly only considering your well being."

I nodded and my body tensed as the room faded and we were once again exploring his memories. While he was experiencing his memories in a vivid first person perspective, I observed as a third party, but unlike him I knew what would happen before it unfolds for him. I was always so grateful that he becomes so lost in his visions that he never notices the emotions I feel as I watch him explore our past and the tears that inevitably escape my eyelids.

_He was walking through a new memory for him, the end of year school picnic and I experienced my own memories more vividly in conjunction with his. All of my feelings and hopes, so young and naïve, so crazy about the boy that had for so many years been my friend, my confidant, my protector…even then I knew that I loved him. I watched the scene unfold remembering the tightening in my stomach as he moved his head near mine in an attempt to see the teddy bear holding an umbrella in the clouds and butterflies began to flutter there when he didn't move away after finding the cloud I was pointing out to him._

_We lay there for a long time and the longer we stayed the more nervous I became and then suddenly I had an idea. I sat up feeling a sense of loss at moving away from him, but I knew my idea was even better. I reached down grabbing his hand and making him follow me to the grove of trees at the far edge of the park. I went to the far side of my favorite maple and asked if he had his pocketknife. He looked confused but handed it to me and I reached out for it using the caution my grandfather had taught me to use when handling knives. My grandfather had taught me how to whittle at a very young age and we used to spend countless hours on the sun porch working away on various small pieces of wood. I had actually gotten quite good. I used my skill to carve out our initials in the tree trunk using a slanted line giving the letters a script like appearance and then stepped back admiring my handiwork._

My stomach clenched and I knew what was coming and instinctually pulled away from the memory, hoping I wouldn't need to experience it today. It was too sad and the beginning of a very sad time for me, the time when Jasper and I were no longer allowed to be friends and my mother began to restrict my every movement to ensure I was never around him again. My mind strained to avoid the memory and suddenly we were in the same location but at a different time. We were older and my heart strained again when I recognized the day. Of course my mind would take me to the day I took him back to that tree! _Ugh, I guess my subconscious is determined to put me through this today. _I said to myself internally.

I was internally cringing as the memory played out for him. Me greeting him for the class reunion picnic, Timothy pulling me away from Jasper on purpose and cornering me into sitting on the opposite side of the group from him in a not so thinly veiled attempt to steal my attentions, cleaning up after ourselves and watching everyone migrate toward the playground…but I had stayed behind.

_"Jasper, I'm sorry that we haven't gotten to spend as much time together today as I had hoped." I said watching his back and praying he wouldn't be mad at me and give me a chance to show him the tree…our tree…the tree that I walked by nearly every day during my 'daily constitutions for my health' I would tell my mother._

_He slowly turned to look at me and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I wished there was a way I could make him understand that the events of the picnic and the years of distance in our friendship were not of my doing. I hoped that showing him the tree and talking about that day would help. I timidly reached my hand forward and looped it through his elbow whispering as encouragingly as I could, "Come with me, I want you to see somethin'."_

_I led him to the tree and there it still sad visibly aged and darker, but never disappearing, just like my feelings for him…my declaration of friendship and not that he knew it at the time, or even now…but love: __**VSB + JAW Friends Forever **_

I sucked in a deep breath and began to tremble in my tears as the memory of the rest of that fateful morning so long ago when we were just children played through his mind. This was so hard for me to watch and it also scared me because I knew he was a smart man, and it was going to lead him to ask questions that would bring out the remainder of the truth about who he really was. I just wasn't entirely sure he was ready for it. He was doing so much better, but he would never fully heal. His vampire bond with his mate was so strong, would anything ever be able to compare…even if it was a deep and bonding human love that spanned most of our human lifetime? I struggled to pull in ragged breath as I watched the scene unfold.

_**She had just finished carving the tree with his knife before turning to him giggling. "Jasper, your initials spell out the word Jaw! I never noticed that before." **_

_**He looked down and blushed before looking at the carving again in wonder. "Virginia, what's your middle name?" **_

_**She giggled, "Scarlett." Then she reached her hand forward and took his lacing their fingers and leaned forward placing a kiss on his cheek. He flushed red again as his hand shot up to his cheek and rested over the place that still tingled from her lingering kiss. **_

_**He leaned over to return her kiss when he heard a piercing voice scream across the meadow. "Virginia Scarlett Benjamin, come here right this instant!" His head shot toward the sound and saw her mother storming across the grass and his eyes grew wide as he saw the anger in her mother's eyes. She snatched the girl's hand right out of his and stormed away dragging the crying girl behind her.**_

I couldn't restrain the smile that spread on my face as I, for the first time ever, was able to experience that memory while being aware of his emotions. I wasn't sure about now, but back then he really did care as much for me as I did him. Then my mother entered the picture and fresh tears once again fell as I remembered the feeling of my heart being torn from my chest as she pulled me screaming and crying away from the only boy I would ever love. Thankfully the painful replay was over and we were back watching our slightly older selves again standing in front of the old tree with our initials carved in the trunk. I observed again, hoping to get the opportunity to feel more of the emotions he had felt for me that I had never actually been aware of before.

_"Our friendship was never the same after that." he whispered._

_"She made me stay away from you," she whispered back looking with a sad expression at the carving in the tree trunk. "I missed you so much." She shifted her gaze to his eyes. "I still miss you Jasper…every day."_

_His eyes grew wide as she slid her hand down his arm and intertwined their fingers as she leaned forward and placed another sweet kiss on his cheek just like that day so many years ago. He reached his hand up to cover the place her lips had lingered with a blush filling his face, a matching one filling hers. Just then we heard the voice of Timothy Blackwell from the playground below calling for her and she blushed a deeper red._

_"Promise me I'll see you again Jasper…please, promise me." Her eyes searched his in earnest and he nodded. She let go of his hand and walked quickly away to join the group below. He stood there in a daze as he stared at the letters carved in the tree running his fingers over them gently. He pulled out his pocketknife slowly and carefully carving a heart around the aged letters before closing it and walking away still dazed but a bit happier._

Two things happened at once. At first I was excited to get to see how and when he had carved the heart. I had seen it later that afternoon when I had returned to the tree line in search of Jasper and saw it there. My heart began to speed in my chest as I ran my fingers over the engraving hoping it meant that I was not alone in my affections. At the same time I felt his hand pull quickly from my shoulder a wave of confusion hitting me as he battled to deal with the images he had just seen. He wasn't ready; it was obvious now that this was a mistake. I shouldn't have pushed. I sighed as I continued to stare out the window blankly.

"Ginny?" I heard him ask timidly.

I struggled to find my voice, finally managing to vocalize a weak, "Hmm?" I was nervous about what he would say or how he would react.

"I know you're probably tired, but I'd like to see more as soon as you're ready, but not today okay?"

I wasn't sure if I was annoyed or relieved. On one hand I wasn't going to have to broach the difficult subject yet, but at the same time, in typical Jasper manner, he was choosing to ignore the things he had learned and not connect the dots. He was once again being deliberately obtuse. "Sure," was all I managed to answer.

I heard him leave the room as I wallowed in my conflicting emotions and then my breath caught as I heard him turn by the stairs and come back standing behind me once more in the kitchen, "Hey Ginny, I'm curious, What is my middle name?"

If I had a beating heart it would have stopped. I turned to stare at him unsure of what to do. I was excited hoping that maybe this was our chance, but I could see in his eyes that he still wasn't quite ready. He still hadn't connected all of the pieces. I began to get anxious, not sure if or how I should answer. The maniacal debate in my head only lasted a few short seconds, but at the same time seemed to stretch on for years. I finally began to open my mouth and admit his middle name was Aaron when my cell phone began to ring on the far counter. I looked over and jumped to run grab it off of the countertop, grateful for the distraction.

"Hello? Oh hi Wes." I was instantly relieved.

"Hey GiGi, I've got some great news for you. The mock up of the release is ready and waiting for your final approval at the post office. How much do you love me?"

"Really? Is it in town now? Oh thanks Wes, I'll go pick it up right away and let you know what I think. Alright, bye, bye." Oh man did I love that man right now; this was just what I had been waiting on.

I turned to Jasper, my excitement visible in my eyes, although I'm sure he would just think it was about the book itself and not what I was hoping it would help me do. "That was the publisher, how would you feel about a little drive to town?"

He smiled and nodded obviously curious about my new excitement. "What's going on? What do you need to pick up?"

"Well it seems that they just finished up the mock up release of my newest book and two copies are waitin' at the post office for me to preview right at this moment. Mr. Whitlock, would you like to be the first person in America to read GS Benjamin's newest novel?"

I couldn't help but be thrilled to see his eyes widen in excitement at my offer. It pleased me to no end that he truly did enjoy my writing that much because I put so much of myself in my writing that by extension he loved me in a way by loving my work. "Would I? My dear Miss Benjamin, it would be an absolute honor!"

I smiled and grabbed the Hummer keys as we both ran full speed to the truck and jumped in as I sped my way down the mountain and into town. We got to the post office and as soon as the worker handed me the package I ripped it open and pulled out two hardback copies of _Unfinished Business._ I watched in both joy and awe as he flipped directly to the liner notes in the dust cover and read the synopsis with obvious enthusiasm before flipping to the first page and reading the beginning of our story.

Well it wasn't exactly our story, but it was a bit of a parallel story. I had written this story over sixty years ago when I found out that he hadn't been killed as I had always believed, but instead he had been changed and was living amongst the dangerous southern covens all of the time we had been separated. As soon as I learned this, I traveled immediately to the Houston area to find him and barely escaped with my life. The leader, Maria, was obviously angry with him for leaving, but still had enough respect for him to spare my life. I immediately began searching, but being an extremely bad tracker, I found the process excedingy difficult, always barely missing him in his travels. By the time I found him, he was living in Rochester New York with his new mate Alice and his new family. I saw them from afar and never had the courage to address them because I could see that he loved her and the rest of the family very deeply and there was no longer any room in his life for me. I left that day more dejected and broken than any other day in my life, including the day that I had been told he was missing…at least then I wasn't left with the knowledge that he hadn't chosen a life that didn't include me…at least then it was involuntary.

I returned home and packed away the manuscript saving it in hopes that someday I would have the opportunity to share it with him and try to explain everything and once again returned my focus on my human family. I kept the manuscript buried in the attic wishing I could forget it and forget my loss and my love, but that's the curse of my power, there is no such thing as forgetting, no such thing as moving on. He truly was burned in my brain and my love for him permeated every cell in my body. As long as I walked the earth I would always love Jasper Aaron Whitlock.

The day I received Alice's letter I went through a whole myriad of emotions ranging from concern for him and the pain he was about to endure, a desire to hop the next plane to Washington and offer my assistance as futile as it would be considering I had no tangible defensive power, and to my embarrassment, an excitement and hope that I might get a chance to tell him after all. I ran up to the attic and unearthed the manuscript now yellowed with age and set about the task of retyping it on my laptop. I sent it off to the publisher later that very day and waited biding my time until it would be published and I could present it to him hoping it would at the very least open the doors of communication regarding the true nature of our human life, love, and descendents.

My foot began to bounce on the drive home as he quickly plowed through the first chapter, commenting regularly on what a good author I was. I just kept praying that he would understand and not hate me for dragging the truth out over all of these months. When we got home I smiled as he nodded toward the book and proceeded directly up the staircase to his room. I said one more silent prayer before opening the book to examine the mock up and smiling at its perfection before calling Wes.

"Hey Wes? It's perfect! Thank you so much my friend, it means so much more than you will ever know!"


	7. Overload

**7. Overload**

_No pain had ever hurt me as badly as watching from afar as the love of my entire existence held contentedly onto her new love. The burn of the fire that transformed my body into its new incarnation, scarred and unrecognizable, was nothing in comparison to this pain. I had taken too long to remember her and even longer after that to believe that she might love me despite the monster I had become in the face of the atrocities of war and thirst to spill blood in the name of survival and it he process I had lost her forever. _

_My heart crumbled as I saw her cuddle lovingly in the arms of her new life, eyes aglow with love and adoration... her life with me completely forgotten. I would never again feel her hands on my face or her lips on mine. I could cross that street and tell her I was alive and well and wanted my wife back, my life back, but I loved her too much to shatter her life now that it was actually happy. So I did the hardest thing I ever had to do in my time on this planet, I turned my back and walked away, leaving her to her new happy life and blissfully ignorant of my existence._

I paused from my reading taken aback by how entirely different this novel was from the rest of the novels she had published in recent years. As a rule she wrote novels based during the civil war while this one was based in the time immediately following World War II. The main character, Jack Wilson, having been lost in the war, wandered the French countryside with no memory of his life and no identification and once he finally remembered who and what he was, he returned home to find his wife, Vivian, had remarried and was happily living in blissful ignorance that he had survived. The novel was excellent and rife with much stronger and more detailed emotions than any of her past works and I found myself sucked into the story, desperately wanting to read more.

A few hours later I was reaching the conclusion of the book. Jack received word that Vivian was in trouble. Her husband had been killed in a car accident and she was on the verge of financial ruin and would soon be homeless. He wasn't sure of the proper course to take, but finally decided that he couldn't stand by and allow her to lose everything without him at least trying to help. He knew that if she figured out who he was, it would be jarring for her, but he couldn't stand by and do nothing. He traveled back to the town and stood outside of the white house that was a far cry from the pristine state it had been in during a happier time in her life. He began to cross the street, but paused at the sight in front of him.

_My heart pounded in my chest and I couldn't take a breath. Through the front door of the house emerged a teenage boy who appeared to be fifteen or sixteen. He turned back and said something into the doorway before running down the sidewalk to jump into the passenger seat of the car parked out front. Vivian suddenly appeared in the doorway yelling out to the boy getting in the car, "Andrew Jack Wilson, you be back by ten or else! Understand me?"_

_"Sure thing Ma!" I felt my knees begin to buckle as the realization crashed around my head. The age, the fact that he looked so much like me at that age, and his name...MY NAME, except the middle and first names were reversed, and he had my last name. I had a son…I had a son and I never got a chance to get to know him. The cruel realities of my life crashed around me as I screamed out at the universe for the perverse way that it kept dealing me blow after blow. I lost my wife and all of these years with my son, all because of a war that I couldn't run away from, and a cruel twist of fate that left me wandering for years without a memory of who I really was or what I had left behind. _

_I was too late. I would never recapture the years I had lost, but could I find a way to forge forward? Could I rejoin their lives from here on out? Would she even want me to make myself known after so many years of believing I was dead? I was so lost in my own agonizing realizations and thoughts that I hadn't even noticed she approached me._

_"Excuse me sir, are you okay? Do you need a doctor?"_

_I looked up with wide eyes brimming with tears. Her voice was still as beautiful as ever, and I should have realized I would draw her attention. She was never one to leave someone in pain to their own devices, even a complete stranger, which is what she believed I was at this point. Our eyes locked and I couldn't find the words to speak to answer her. She was older of course, but if it was possible, she was even more beautiful than the day I married her._

_I opened my mouth and closed it a few times before I registered the look of shock in her eyes as she collapsed on her knees next to me with tears in her eyes and her hands covering her mouth. "Jack?"_

_My eyes opened wider and I tried once more in vain to find words, but when I could not I simply nodded._

_I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect what happened next. Suddenly I was wrapped in Vivian's arms as her small,l far too thin body shook with sobs. "Oh God Jack! They told me you were dead! Oh my God!"_

_I reached my hands to hold onto hers as my own sobs racked my body in convulses, still unable to form any words, but relishing the warmth of her embrace that I hadn't experienced in so very, very long._

_"Oh Jack, I never stopped loving you! I missed you ever single day! Thank you Lord for bringing him back to me…Oh thank you!"_

_Her declarations deepened my sob for all of the countless lost years, my stupidity, and the unending cruelty of fate. Finally after we both sobbed for what seemed like hours she wiped her eyes and stood next to me offering me her hands._

_"Come with me Jack. Come home with me so we can talk. There are many things I need to tell you, and I have a feeling that you have some things you need to tell me as well."_

_"OUR Son?" These were the only words I could make my mouth form. She nodded with a sad smile before taking my hand and leading me into the warmth of a life I had missed so very much._

I dropped the book on the floor with a loud clatter as I finished reading the final chapter. My breath had sped as I thought about the greater implications of this book. There were reasons this story was so different from the others. There was a greater underlying meaning to this five hundred page parable. I stood up walking in a confused daze as I made my way downstairs to find Ginny.

I froze as I looked across the living room to see her sitting in the corner with her knees folded up to her chest and her arms wrapped protectively around them with tears streaming down her face. I could feel sadness, fear, and hope all intermixed in the air around us, and then I started to understand as I stood with wide eyes as they locked with hers.

"Ginny…wh…what was my middle name?"

She closed her eyes and whispered barely loudly enough for even my vampire hearing to pick up, "Aaron."

In that instant my knees buckled and I hit the floor with a resounding crack as the wooden floorboards beneath me cracked and buckled slightly. It was then that a stream of memories, unbidden by Ginny, washed through my mind.

_Holding hands with Ginny in our childhood, holding Ginny in my hands at the formal dance, sitting across from her during the supper with the rest of the officers at her father's home, walking with her arm draped through mine sending chills of excitement through my body at the contact as she took me to examine our initials in the tree, carving the heart around the letters. _Then new memories surfaced.

_I waited by the tree with our initials for Ginny to walk by. She had mentioned that she took daily walks in this park. I waited hoping that our tree was at least a part of the reason why she walked this direction. Soon my wish was granted and Ginny appeared in front of the tree, looking at it lovingly and tracing the freshly carved heart with her fingers. I spoke up behind her causing her to jump but the surprise was immediately replaced with a beaming smile._

_"Hello Virginia, I was hoping you might cross this way today."_

_"Jasper!" She clutched at her chest for a moment, but the smile never left her face. "You startled me!"_

_"I'm sorry Virginia."_

_"Jasper…could you please call me Ginny? My grandmother is Virginia and to hear you call me that makes me feel very old."_

_I smiled and fought to make my heart and breathing slow to a normal cadence. I was excited that I was allowed such a familiarity to be allowed to call her by her first name, but now she admitted to disliking that name and allowing me a nickname. I was thrilled._

_"Of course Ginny."  
Suddenly Ginny looked around nervously before whispering hastily. "Jasper, I have to go, Mother will be lookin' for me if I don't get home soon. Can you meet here again tomorrow? I'll make up an excuse to stay out longer so we can talk."_

_"It would be an honor Ginny," I answered taking her hand and kissing the back of it gently while keeping my eyes on hers. The feel of her skin, the look in her eyes, everything about her made my heart soar. I watched her walk away swiftly and did allow myself to move until she was completely out of sight._

_**The next day I waited and to my joy she arrived in our spot at the same time as the first. We sat and talked for the better part of an hour surrounded by the grove of trees giving us cover from the outside world. With every intelligent word to leave her beautiful lips I fell a little more I love with her.**_

_We continued like this for an entire week, meeting every single day doing nothing more than sitting in the seclusion of the trees. By Saturday I knew there would never be another woman in the entire world for me. I knew I was being forward, but I couldn't resist reaching forward to brush my fingers along her cheekbone. She blushed a beautiful pink and smiled as she leaned into my touch. I leaned forward and brushed my lips on her cheek once before letting them brush lightly atop her lips._

_"Ginny, I love you." She paled at my confession and then smiled brightly with tears in her eyes and I swear I had never seen anything more beautiful. She didn't have to say the words back because I saw them in her eyes and her smile. In that instant I was overtaken by a compulsion more strong than any I had ever experienced. I immediately jumped up onto one knee taking her hand in mine._

_"Virginia Scarlett Benjamin, will you do me the eternal honor of becoming my wife?"_

_Her tears flowed down her cheeks as she stared at me with a shocked expression. "Jasper, I can't believe this is you proposin'. Mr. propriety is asking for my hand without the permission of my father first?"_

_My heart plummeted thinking that this was the answer to my question as I looked down at my feet in defeat. A second later I felt the velvet of her hand tuck under my chin and tilt my face up to look into hers. _

_"Jasper, that wasn't a rejection, just a surprised observation. My father be damned! I'd like to see him try to stop me from marryin' you. You're the only man I've ever loved and I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I'd be honored to be your wife!"_

_I sucked in a deep breath as my heart soared and I smiled as I pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in my embrace as she folded herself happily into my chest with a sigh. I looked down at my beautiful bride to be and leaned down to kiss her, this time allowing the passion I dared not share before in the exchange._

_**We sat side by side in the parlor of the Benjamin house with our hands intertwined as we listened to her parents screaming at us in anger and fury. We had done this all wrong from the very beginning. We had broken every rule of propriety and etiquette and risked bringing great scandal on the entire family, but we didn't care. The more we talked about it, the more we were certain that her family, and in particular her mother, drove us to this through her actions that began years ago the day we first carved our initials into that tree. Finally after hours of listening to them rail against us and our unseemly activities, they agreed that the only recourse now was to allow us to marry and lead everyone to believe that the match had been ordained all along.**_

_I was nervous as I stood in the clearing of the park in front of our tree with the minister next to me and a handful of guests seated nearby. I couldn't wait for Ginny to become my wife. I looked at the crowd and was unnerved by the burning looks staring up at me. It was obvious that there were very few in this crowd who were pleased with our union. I was starting to get really anxious until she suddenly appeared on the far side of the crowd with a white lacy gown framing her beautiful body, a while lacy veil hiding her face, and a bouquet of sunflowers clutched in her glove encased hands. Even through the veil her smile glowed at me and I knew that the only person I cared about being pleased with the events of this day was the one hiding behind that veil, and if her smile was any indication, she was ecstatic. We shared our vows and my heart felt like it would explode out of it's chest as the minister announced that we were now Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Whitlock and I could now kiss my bride. That kiss was the single most wonderful of my life to that point…crowd be damned. _

_**We stood facing one another in the light of the fireplace, both nervous and inexperienced as our hands shook and our feet shuffled. Finally with a nervous step I approached her and pulled her into a gentle and loving kiss. In that moment I could feel our love for one another and the fear began to disappear. This was Ginny and I, together, sharing our love in the most tangible way possible that a man and his wife could share their love. I gently folded her into my embrace as I began to rock with her, dancing gently in the quiet of our honeymoon suite. I was surprised by her actions as she reached forward and began to unbutton my white dress shirt before pushing it gently off of my shoulders exposing my chest. In answer to her move, I carefully untied the strings lacing up the back of her dress loosening them and allowing it to fall to the floor leaving her in her corset and undergarments. Our first moments of intimacy as man and wife continued in this manner until we fell into our marriage bed and united for the first time in gentle lovemaking. I hadn't believed that it had been possible to love her any more until the moment when we were united and then to my surprise my heart managed to grow in order to accommodate the increase of emotion I had for her. **_

_Two days after our wedding, the orders I had been watching for during the course of the last month finally arrived. As the rumors had suggested, my unit was to leave in five days to take up duty in the Houston area guarding supply lines back and forth from the front. After I left the post and informed my men, I immediately went to find my wife in the suite that we were allowed to retain for the remainder of the week. The fear in her eyes as I told her I was leaving was torturous as she collapsed on the bed clutching my collar in her tiny fists and begged me not to go. She begged me to desert and let her come with me so we could live together elsewhere and have a happy life free from the atrocities of the war. It broke my heart to hear her fear, and her begging me to stay, but I knew I could never abandon my men. I would not be a man worth of such an amazing wife, if I were to commit such an atrocity. I spent the five days between receiving the orders and our departure making my wife know that I loved her in every conceivable way._

_**I was sitting on a dusty dirty road waiting for my men to return from a scouting trip into town for supplies as I re-read the last letter that arrived from my beautiful bride. Her handwriting was so perfect and I love to read her words of love and devotion over and over. I reached into my pocket to feel the new letter from her that I couldn't wait to read, but didn't want to start with my men expected back so soon. Darkness encroached the surrounding sky as I dismounted my steed to address three young ladies asking for my assistance. Before I knew what was happening, I was being attacked by the tiny women and felt a fire begin to burn in my veins of which I had never felt before. One last vision flashed through my mind, Ginny, my bride, I would never see her again. The fire burned white hot in my veins, but the tear that left my eye was not a result of that pain, but rather the loss of my love.**_

Ginny stared at me with wide eyes, uncertainty heavy in her emotions as she watched me struggle for breath as I digested the new memories. Finally I constructed my thoughts enough to convert them to words.

"Six months…six months we've been living here and you never told me. How could you?"

"You weren't ready." She whispered. "She told me not to tell you until you were ready."

My face shot up to meet her troubled eyes. "She…you mean Alice?" She nodded. "Wh…What did she say?"

"There was more from her than the letter I showed you in Volterra. Three letters were in the package I received. One to me telling me that I needed to reveal the truth to you slowly so that you could absorb it in your own way and heal from the loss of them, the one you saw, and one that is addressed to you alone that I have kept sealed. If you will follow me to my bedroom, I have them stored there."

I nodded numbly and stood to follow her in a daze up the staircase. _Alice, what have you been doing my love? Why are you playing these games with me? _We reached the door to the one room it the house I had never entered and followed Ginny through the portal.

I looked around with wide eyes at the room before me, my eyes focusing on two old yellowed pictures on the dresser before me. The first was of Ginny and I on our wedding day. We both looked so unbearably happy. I looked at it a long time, studying our faces before replacing it and picking up the second photo. I immediately recognized the woman as Scarlett…my…daughter…and I noticed the man at her side and my breath hitched at the resemblance. Aaron…my son…looked exactly like me in the wedding photo sitting next to this one on the bureau. I stood frozen as I examined the kind eyes and proud stance of my children. Both appeared to be exceedingly intelligent and confident. On the matting surrounding the picture was written _Scarlett Virginia Whitlock and Aaron Jasper Whitlock, Dallas Texas 1888. _I ran my hands over their faces as a mixture of half a dozen emotions that I had a hard time naming precisely flooded my body.

I sat the photo back in its home gently as I spied a tall bookcase filled with rows and rows of books. I gazed over the titles and author's names and my eyes grew wide as I read the names there. VS Whitlock, VS Benjamin, Benjamin Whitlock, Virginia Benjamin Whitlock, the pennames went on and on for several shelves as the books ranged from aged and yellowed to new and crisp. Then on the next set of bookshelves the names were more varied, but still held many Whitlocks, including AJ Whitlock and Aaron Whitlock. I picked up one of the yellowed copies and opened it to see the ancient typeset of a history text and I read the foreword in surprise.

_This text is dedicated to my parents, Major Jasper Whitlock, who died in the service of the Confederate Army before my birth, and my amazing mother Virginia Whitlock who passed before my fifth birthday, but will forever hold a place in my heart. I dedicate this work to your sacrifice and the love that you showed in your brief, but forever cherished, influence in my life._

"I missed everything," I whispered. "If I had just left with you, I would have known them…loved them…loved you." I looked up at her crumpled body on the bed as her eyes shimmered with tears.

"They were both good people Jasper. We should both be proud…but the past is not somethin' we can change now. We can only look forward."

I turned to look at her. "Yes, but it still hurts."

"I know," she whispered. Her voices sounded so small and broken and I understood. I felt every bit as broken in this moment as she sounded. How had she lived all of these years knowing and remembering everything with all of this pain? It was excruciating.

"Here are the letters," She said handing me the two envelopes, one open and one sealed. "You can read the one to me if you wish, but the unopened one is the one for you."

I nodded. "I need to go…I need to read this in solitude."

She nodded weakly. "I understand."

I ran out of the house and into the woods as fast as my legs would carry me finally collapsing in a clearing at the northern border of the preserve. The dry sobs shuddered through my body as the full weight of what I had learned today hit me and I felt helpless and clueless as to what comes next. After several minutes my sobs quieted and I gingerly pulled the envelopes from Alice out of my pocket as I settled on the ground.

I looked at both envelopes for a long time before choosing to read Ginny's first.

_Ginny- I know this all makes no sense to you and I don't have time to say more than the basics. I know who you are, and I know what you had with Jasper. I wish I could say that I'm sorry for taking him away from you, but he has been the shining beacon in my life and I can't honestly say that I would be willing to give him up freely, but I do feel sorry for the years that you have spent alone missing and loving him. I know what it means to love Jasper so completely, so I hope that you will some day find it in your heart to forgive me for holding onto him. I didn't discover your existence until I began frantically searching the future in an attempt to find a way to save my Jazzy and that is when I saw him reading your book and realized how everything happened and that you found him after we had already found each other and the rest of our family. I am so sorry you had to see us together in that way and the pain it must have caused you. I hope you can forgive me. _

_I just hope that this works and you can save my love and maybe in the end you can save each other. I know for a fact that after our death he will go to Volterra in an attempt to end his life. You MUST go and stop him. You can't tell him everything up front though…he will be too broken to be able to observe it and you will ultimately push him away and back to them if you don't do as I suggest. Start off slow; when you first meet your power will automatically spark a memory of your past without you trying. This will peak his interest. Only admit to knowing him from his human life and nothing more. Help him to see us one last time in Rome. It will hurt him, but it will also help him say goodbye. After that, don't try it again until he comes to you and asks to see more. Trust me, it will happen so just be patient and give him his space. Once you begin to show him the past, be careful and do it slowly and let him piece it together himself. Don't tell him, make him ask you. _

_I know this is going to be very painful and difficult for you…particularly the keeping things from him as your friendship develops, but you must. It's essential. I see it taking at least six months before he's finally ready to piece things together. Retype your book and send it off today. It will come just in time. When the book arrives, expect the truth to come to light soon after. I'm sorry that things had to be so hard for you, but I hope that in doing this, you can help heal each other. Good luck to you and please take care of my love for me. –Alice_

I read the words in the letter to Ginny over and over in complete and total shock as my anger began to fade at Ginny ever so slightly. She was following Alice's suggestions. Alice knew that if I found out too much too soon I would leave immediately unable to deal with the emotional strain, but what will I do now? I wasn't even close to having the emotional tools to deal with the bombshells I kept getting today. I put the letter to Ginny back in its envelope and ripped open the seal on the letter for me.

_Jazzy- I know you're sitting in that clearing to the north of the preserve right now, confused and angry at me for putting you though all of this. I did it all for your own good. You deserved to know. You should have known years ago, but I understand why she didn't come to you. We were finally happy together and in love, your children were already long gone from this life, and your reaction to her news would have probably been just as bad if not worse than it is at this point in your life. She loved you enough to walk away and suffer in silence and allow you to be happy with me. That kind of self sacrifice deserves to be commended, not condemned._

_I know you are angry for the months that you have lived with her and you're feeling betrayed right now, but she was working from my directions. I fought for weeks to find a way to save you when I saw you going to Volterra and when I found her I was both heartbroken and relieved, but as I looked at the different way you could learn your past from her, I kept seeing you going back there again later and I couldn't allow that, so I observed over and over the different ways and times that she could reveal the truth to you and I finally found a timeline that ended better. All that both she and I have done during this whole thing has been for you own well being and completely and totally out of love, on both of our behalves. Please us both with forgiveness._

_My time is growing far too short with you and for me to finish this letter to you. I want you to know, my Jasper, that I will never regret a single moment that I had you in my life. You were the life and the love that I never dreamed I would be blessed to receive and am so grateful to have had the opportunity to live. I will love you for all eternity, even enough to send you to be with the one other person in all of creation that loves you as much as I do and can make you just as happy as you were with me. Yes fate had a messed up way of working it all out, but you were meant to be with her just as much as you were to be with me. I only got you once and for far too short of a time, but she is the lucky one that will get to have you twice, once in your human life, and if you will finally let go of us and let yourself, you can be happy with her again now. That is my one wish for you my love, please go and be happy and live a full life with the one other person who truly deserves your love. It's all up to you now my dear sweet Jasper, and I hope you take this chance to be happy. All my love, forever –Alice_

I sat in the clearing stone still for the next three days as I read her words over and over and over. I stayed there as I mourned for the loss of the loved ones I remembered as well as those I never got the chance to know…my vampire brothers and sister, my wife, my parents, and my human children. I had some had decisions to make, but Alice's words kept flashing in my mind. I had a chance to be happy, but could I be? Could I really ever be happy living in THAT way with Ginny? In all of my existence I had never been so confused and conflicted. I did finally decide that I needed to talk to Ginny some more. I needed more answers and the time was now. I pulled myself off of the ground and hurriedly made my way back to our house. _OUR House? Yes…our house…our home._ It felt good to say it…I had a home here, and I needed to talk to Ginny to see if I had even more than that.

_**

* * *

**_

Author's Note: I'm sorry this is a bit of a cliffie, but It was starting to get pretty long and I ran out of writing time, so I decided to end here. I proofread, but I'm really tired after having a long night up with the baby, so I might have missed a few things. If you catch anything really glaring please PM me and let me know. I hate leaving the goof ups out there if I don't have to. Anyway, we're really, really close to the end…one…maybe two chapters left. Thanks for reading!


	8. My Turn

**8.** **My Turn**

I ran more slowly as I returned to the house…our house. I was still confused and frustrated, but I knew I wasn't going to make any more progress with sorting anything out without talking to Ginny. When I broke through the tree line and into the meadow where the house stood, I knew immediately that something was wrong.

I ran straight up to the house and in the front door. The house was empty. I ran through every room of the house and there were no signs of Ginny. I rushed into her bedroom and I stopped seeing a letter sitting on the bureau between our wedding picture and the picture of our children. My name was written on the outside.

The tearstained words glared up at me from the page…_Dearest Jasper, I have no hope that you are coming back, but I had to leave this note in the event that you do. I see now that this was all a colossal mistake. I spent so many years wishing I could get you back that I hadn't taken the time to really anticipate that you wouldn't want me. You have been gone for three days now and I have no reason to believe that you are returning to me. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't…I went about everything all wrong and I'm sorry. I doubt you will come back to see this, but if by some chance of fate you do, then I guess I should tell you that I'm giving up. It's been too many years and without even the remote possibility that you may come back to me I just no longer have the desire to continue on. I assume that you have probably already reached Volterra and have gotten your heart's desire, and if so then hopefully they will be receptive to me following your example. If by some chance you have come back and are reading this now, which I sincerely doubt you are, then I'm sorry for putting all of this on you. Either way, I know you don't want me, you don't want us, and that is all I have ever wanted. So goodbye Jasper.. I will love you forever. -Yours Truly, Ginny_

I stood still as my mind struggled to grasp what I was reading. She went to Volterra? How soon did she leave? She says it her note I have been gone for three days, so that's today. She must have recently left…and this time I'm the one who has to stop her. She can't leave me now, not like this! Six months ago she saved me from a horrible mistake, now it's my turn.

I ran to my room grabbing the necessary documents and a stash of money and ran directly toward the nearest town. There I stole the fastest car I could find and drove immediately to the closest airport where I chartered a flight to New York all the while on my cell phone acquiring tickets for a redeye to Rome. As I sat in the plane my mind continued to reel over what I needed to do, hoping against hope that I could get there in time to stop her.

Why on earth would she leave now? After all of this time, I finally know the truth and she's leaving? What would possess her to choose this point in time to leave? What would I do once I get there? Do I have the answers she needs to hear to make the right decision?

I read her note again and again as the realization sunk in that my knowing the truth wasn't what she needed. She needed me to want her, to love her, to be the husband that she has missed all of these years, the husband that she deserves. Could I be that man? Did I have those feelings for her?

I thought of the memories that boiled to the surface when she whispered my middle name, the name of our son, the name that confirmed the full scope of our past relationship. I felt those emotions as I watched the scenes play in my mind, but I was so overwhelmed and overloaded that I couldn't really absorb them and accept them. I replayed the scenes now in my mind as the plane streaked over the Atlantic Ocean, and I could feel my chest tighten with the emotions of my human self's confession of love for the human Ginny. I felt my breath shudder as I remembered asking her to marry me and I could almost feel my phantom heart pound in my chest as she said yes. My breathing sped as I remembered her walking down the aisle to me as she became my wife and how beautiful her soft bare skin looked in the firelight as I touched her in our marriage bed. I remembered the longing and emotions I felt as I caressed her letters in my pocket on a dusty road near Houston and the final tear that I would ever shed as I bid my love goodbye forever as the fire burned in my veins.

I LOVED GINNY. I did, I loved her and I wanted those things with her. Alice sent her to me because she knew that I would remember our past eventually and find that I still loved her. The love didn't die when I did, it just got lost in the chasm of my venom soaked mind, but when the truth of our past came to light it rose to the surface right along with all of the lost memories of a life long gone…but it didn't have to be. I could have a life with her again…Alice said as much in her letter to Ginny.

The plane wasn't moving fast enough. I had to get there and sooner rather than later. I had to save my Ginny, my wife, my life. My heart felt like it grew ten times larger in that instance. I felt a twinge of guilt for the ease with which I found myself ready for a new life with someone besides my family, but I also knew that they would want this, they would understand and they would be happy for me. I thought of my brothers and my parents and my Alice, of my life with them and the happiness we shared, and then I closed my eyes and said goodbye. Just like my human life disappeared with the fire in my veins, that life had been destroyed in the fire that burned six months ago in a clearing in Washington, and a brand new life was about to begin, if only I could get there fast enough.

The plane FINALLY landed in Rome and I rushed as quickly as I dared without bringing undue suspicion upon myself to escape the airport lurking in the shadows until I could find a fast car to steal. I drove at maniacal speed to Volterra and through the gates parking in a dark alleyway as dusk began to fall. I rushed to the doors of the tower testing the air for her scent and relieved to find that she hadn't arrived yet, so instead I took a seat in the darkened street at the bistro tables where I first met her and waited.

I didn't have to wait long, about an hour after I sat down I heard her hesitant steps and smelled her sweet cinnamon tinted scent before I saw her emerge around the corner. I felt a surge of relief that I hadn't been any later at any point in the process of getting here or else I would have been too late. She was crying as she approached, her gaze locked on the large ornately carved doors that led to her death, not even noticing me sitting at the tables. I took a deep breath and spoke from my darkened vantage point.

"Why Mrs. Whitlock, as I live and breathe…well breathe anyway."

She froze mid step and spun to look at me with wide incredulous eyes. "Jasper?"

I got up and ran to her side pulling her into my arms. "Yes Ginny, I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to get my head together that you thought I left and wasn't coming back. I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize the truth to begin with when as I look back it was glaringly obvious from the very beginning, and most of all I'm sorry for not remembering how much I love you…and I do…I love you Virginia Scarlett Benjamin Whitlock…with my whole heart."

I could feel her icy teardrops soaking my shirt as her shoulders began to shake with her sobs. "Y…you're not just sayin' this are you Jasper? Be..because I don't think I could take it."

I looked down tipping her beautiful face up to stare into my eyes. "No my love, I'm not just saying it. I remember now, I remember everything, and I especially remember how honored I was to have you as my wife the first time, and if you'll have me, I'd like to have that with you again. Will you Ginny? Will you marry me again and be my wife in this life in the way that you never got to be in our last?"

She closed her eyes as the tears fell and I could feel the sense of awe and love in her emotions. She never thought she'd hear me say these words to her and hearing them was making her heart soar. "Oh Jasper, Yes! Oh Thank You, Yes!"

I chuckled as I wiped a tear from her cheek and then leaned down to touch my lips to hers for the first time in nearly 150 years. It was different now and yet so the same. Our lips parted and our kiss deepened and my heart exploded in my chest as I felt the overwhelming love we had for each other. We held one another for a long time in the street in front of the lair of the Volturi before we finally turned and walked back toward the car tightly embraced in one another's arms, never to be separated again.

_**

* * *

**_

Author's Note: Hi, My name is Jen and I'm addicted to writing Fluff. I admit it. This was the final official chapter, but I have an idea for an epilogue and then Faded Memories will officially be completed. I know this was a super short chapter, but it was a bit intense anyway. Please let me know what you thought!


	9. Epilogue: Ten Years Later

**Epilogue: Ten Years Later**

"Hey Honey, come here. We just got an email from Danielle. She had the baby last night. It was a little boy that they name Damien."

Ginny came running in from the dining room with a big smile on her face. "Did they send pictures? Please tell me they sent pictures!"

I smiled as she slid into the space next to me on the couch and laid her head on my shoulder. I scrolled down to show the three photos that had been attached to the message. The first was a picture of a tiny pink baby with clenched eyes wrapped in a blue blanket, the second was an exhausted and yet still beaming Danielle holding baby Damien, and the third was the two of them with Danielle's husband Tom. Ginny cuddled in closer to me and sighed with a wide smile on her face.

"Well, that makes five hundred and seventeen currently livin' descendents of our bloodline walkin' the Earth as of this moment." She smiled up at me with warm loving eyes before stretching up to kiss my lips softly. News of new babies in the family always made her a bit more sentimental. "Save the picture to my jump drive and I'll go print out the pictures and put them in the frames I've had waitin' for the big guy's arrival."

"Okay sweetie." I wrapped my arms around my wife's shoulders and kissed her lips once again with a bit more enthusiasm before pulling her back to cuddle to my chest and eating up the joy and love radiating from her body as my mind began to wander into our past.

When we arrived home from Volterra we sat for two straight days and did nothing but talk about the past, the present, and the future. After we had worked out the details of how we were going to move on with our lives from that point she told me that she had one more thing I needed to see. She led me to a hidden door under the staircase that led to a massive basement that was essentially one large room the expanse of the entire house. The walls were covered floor to ceiling with hundreds upon hundreds of photographs of our family throughout the many decades and then I turned to see one full wall was nothing but a massive flow chart. To the far left were two solitary names, Ginny's and mine, and from there each generation branched out to the point that the wall was overflowing from floor to ceiling with the names of our countless descendants. It was both amazing and dumbfounding to see how from two single individuals so many others came to be.

For the next two days I listened in wonder as she told me all about every name on the wall with such energetic enthusiasm that I couldn't help but smile and take every bit in. She really did adore each one and took such great joy from knowing all about them and keeping tabs on their lives. She started me out slowly, putting me in contact with some of the relatives that she was already talking to and introducing me as her 'new' husband, but it didn't take long at all until I was just as excited and intrigued by the whole process as she was. It really did relieve the monotony of immortal life and gave both of us something much more tangible to cling to.

Of course it wasn't all bright and happy. For every birth that we rejoiced in there was also a death for us to mourn. The gains and losses were like a wild rollercoaster ride that we endured perpetually, and yet we would never give up the joys in order to avoid the sadness.

After a few minutes of holding Ginny in my arms I finally released her and copied the pictures to the jump drive as she requested and then made her pay for it with one last kiss before I would relinquish the storage device to her. She giggled in the way that always made my chest twitch in happiness. It wasn't until after we got back from Rome and were finally truly together that I saw how sad Ginny had been when I first met her. She was good at covering up and burying it behind other emotions, but now that I had experienced her spirit her truly happy, the difference was staggering.

It had been ten years since my mad dash to Volterra to save my Ginny from herself and in the process saved my own life too. There were times that I still missed my vampire family who I had lived with for many decades, but my life with Ginny was happy too in a much different way. There was a peace in my life with Ginny that I had never experienced before. We lived an easy life with one another, always seemingly in sync. If I had ever doubted it before, I surely didn't now…I was made to be with Ginny, she was my soul mate in every conceivable way and I cherished her all the more for the difficulty we suffered in finding one another again. My life was now complete and for the first time ever, I was completely and blissfully happy.

Ginny was wrapped up in the new pictures of the baby and didn't even notice when I slipped away into the woods to prepare her surprise. I returned to the house just before dusk and led her out into the woods to the clearing I had prepared for us. Her eyes grew wide as we walked into the open expanse to find the flickering candles displayed in the shape of a ten foot wide heart on the ground before her. I led her to the middle, flipping on a portable CD player and pulling her into my arms to dance with me.

"You remembered," Ginny whispered in awe as she looked into my eyes.

"Of course I remembered Gin, it is our anniversary after all." I leaned down to kiss her beautiful lips that seemed to call to me in the flicker of the candlelight.

"Yes, but this was the anniversary of our human weddin'. We've never celebrated it before."

"Well, we're gonna to start my beautiful darlin'. It was the true beginnin' of our life together and I want to celebrate it every year. I love you darlin' and I wouldn't trade you for anythin'."

"I love you too Jasper…Always."

"Always," I answered back as I held her close and vowing to never let her go again. I had lived life with Ginny and life without her, and a life without my Ginny was no life at all. My heart had found it's home again, and here it would stay until either one of us lost our lives, in which case the other would join them, or the world stopped spinning. Until then we would stay in each other's arms and keep watch over our decedents. My once faded memories of my human past were now the most precious of any I had ever encountered because they were where I found my life again, my Ginny again, and my full capacity to love and appreciate life.

_**

* * *

**_

Author's Note: Okay guys…that's it…Faded Memories is now officially and totally complete! I could have left it with the last chapter, but I wanted to show the full scope of the mark the left on the world. Two tiny individuals and their love led to the life of thousands in the hundred plus years following their life. I hope you all liked it and thank you so much for reading it, adding it to your alerts and favorites, and reviewing. I really appreciated it.


End file.
